Nessa Privacy

Rock The Club

2011-05-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

today Art & Design is getting more challenging because not only do we have to crosshatch BUT also have to draw a basket of eggs. i have a difficult time just drawing out the basket alone. if wouldnt for Syafiq, Ayriee and Faz who are always constantly helping me, i would have died trying to draw.

during lunch break like usual was like a mini gossips session while waiting for DJ club to start. then it started to pour real heavily and the raindrops keep splashing inwards and somehow to our table. so while we were waiting, we did alittle of camwhoring cause we were all pretty bored.

today is my first meeting in DJ club as i had to work the previous DJ meeting. so in DJ club we learnt about mcess and sound crew which were much more complicated. on the other hand, i manage to make some new friends from both our campus and other campus. Faye is a pretty friendly girl, pretty outgoing too. then Syafiqah, Siti and I started to sqirum again and because of the same issue. that was pretty much how my day ended !!

tomorrow still have to start working for the weekend, always kind of lazy to work whenever i agreed to work for a particular roadshow. human nature i guess, wahaha.

[ Syahirah & Nessa ]

[ with Ernie ]

[ her comical expression ]

[ my bouncers ]

[ Syakur, Nessa & Dzul ]

[ Nessa, Siti, Dzul and Syafiqah ]

[ group photo #1 ]

[ group photo #2 ]

[ girl power ]

[ guy power ]

[ ayriee cute expression ]

[ Ernie, Nessa & Ayriee ]

[ funny guys ]

[ Syahirah & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & Nessa ]

Window Display

2011-05-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

today lesson was super long like always. now art and design is much harder and up to the next level which is cross hatching in pen !! seriously and no joke, drawing in pen is a challenge but i like it though i feel the stress heat.

anyway lunch time was super funny with Syafiqah, Syakur, Siti, Fadilah and Ina. i realise is always lunch time that is the best part with the gossips that we always will have. just nice having such lunch time and is super funny with Siti and Syafiqah expression. without fail, everyday we tends to squirm so loudly unknowingly and start bursting out in laughter again.

after lunch break, we had CA hours and we voice out about an issue we had yesterday that made the whole class so noisy. after which a few of us had to go VSM gallery to do the set up as tomorrow there will be visitor coming. got to say is like a challenge for us because is our first time plus materials were limited. so as a VSM, creativity comes in and we decided to use cloth to make our own top or whatever.

after spending 2 hours or so on setting up the various theme, there is of course camwhoring. so camera start rolling and like usual Bumble Bee like to have his little drama displayed whenever i take his photo. i guess today i manage to survive another day.

now i am wondering should i upgrade my phone to Nokia N8 or Samsung Galaxy Ace. i am being a technology idiot here so i still researching about the phone or maybe i should do impulsive upgrading.

[ Siti, Michelle, Syafiqah and Nessa ]

[ Faz and Zan ]

[ Nessa & Zan ]

[ Nessa & Michelle ]

[ Nessa & Siti ]

[ our concept ]

[ our display ]

[ zan ah zan ]

[ his group concept ]

[ Nessa & Faz ]

[ Nessa & Syafiqah ]

[ Zan group ]

[ Nessa & Zan ]

[ he and his mini drama ]

[ combo of our idea ]

[ IVA and IVB students ]

About there

2011-05-08T06:40:00.000-07:00

thanks alot reality for making me go through the same shit again !! am i being way too naive or because my kindness was once again taken as a weakness ?? reality, how much more harsh can you be to me again ?? suddenly it seems that history will always repeat itself everytime i am trying to be myself.

is it me or them ?? perhaps they have yet to know me well enough to realise what the problem between us, or perhaps they werent even bothered to find out why the sudden distance between us. like suddenly you guys make me feel outcast, and yes i no longer know where i can call a sense of belonging. then come again, friends come and go, there isnt such thing as "friends forever" anymore.

on the other hand, problems after problems start coming and yes, for the first time i no longer know what to do and it's too much for me to handle. to make matters worst, i start shutting and pushing everyone away just in hope that i wont make them worried but things got worst. seriously sometimes best thing to do is to hide everything and continue with that bubbly me.

as reality hits me harder and harder each time, i promise myself not to shed a single tears and continue to be stronger than before. suddenly losing that hope to fight and wonder how much stronger i can be, finding myself smile lesser each time. i really wonder who am i turning out to be, many times this question has flash through my mind. but still holding on to that happy-go-lucky personality, a promise to myself to really smile from the bottom of my heart like i used to.

i dont believe my down's will be this long. if such friendship is this weak, i give up mending and putting the effort. at least i know there another group of friends who appreciate and care about my feelings. thanks alot reality for being such a fucking bitch to me !! i prove to you that even though life is tough i still can survive, even though is mentally draining that i wish i could breakdown right now this min.

Shit always happen

2011-05-07T05:14:00.000-07:00

when shit happens, best way out is to stay strong and battle it. the only way and best thing for me now is really to stay strong and try not to fall. so hard trying hard when everything seems so wrong

today supposely to go to NLB but because it is polling day and is considered as a public holiday so the library is closed. this is the second time when we wanted to go to the library and end up having our plans spoilt. like our characters and library clash right ??

so JZ decided to take neoprint out of the blue which kind of shock me that he would mention it. but it been awhile since i last took neoprint and JZ was super green at decorating the pictures, it was fun taking neoprint. so after taking neoprint, we had to start our hunt for mother day gift.

after walking here and there, i got my mum Royce chocolate and there goes 15 bucks but i feel it worth to see my mum smile on this special day. then we decided to walk to MBS and stopped by the bridge to watch the sunset. as we watch the sunset, we had a mini chat which was pretty awesome. reminds me of bestie and certain friends that i used to have such topic with. anyway despite going back home way after the time i was suppose to go home, my mum didnt say anything and smile to herself when i gave her the chocolate. so cute when she was smiling to herself, is like an excuse to make her more happy.

2011-05-04T07:58:00.000-07:00

today Mr Yeo lesson was cancelled because he is sick. how great my day can be !! but for the price is we have 4 hours of com @ work on friday, good gracious. it like a killer because com @ work is seriously a dry lesson, no joke !!

so end up i spend my day chatting with my class people for like past 2 hours. in the class, all of us were pretty high and it was funny that how Zan took the picture in the class. this is a short day and how we ended our lesson.

[ cute girls right ?? ]

[ shafiyah ]

[ she like damn cute ]

[ siti, shafiyah, fadilah & Nessa ]

[ Fadilah & Nessa ]

[ Sahari & Nessa ]

[ joker boy ]

[ Nessa & Kahlisah ]

[ Nessa & Syakur ]

[ Shafiyah, Fadilah & Nessa ]

[ candid shots ]

[ Nessa & Ayriee ]

[ Fadilah & Nessa ]

[ Ayriee, Syafiq & Syakur ]

[ Nessa, Ayriee & Syafiq ]

Life is such a bitch

2011-05-02T22:52:00.000-07:00

things isnt turning where i thought it would. time to show who is the bigger boss, i wont give in to my fate just like this.

today Mr Yap was kind enough to let us use an hour to do our drawing. up till now i still cant really get the 3D effect out and it super depressing. seriously when you see the rest draw, is like eye opener, what more i am not a art student !!

but anyway Mr Yeo lesson was eaten up because we have to go for a motivational talk in the audit room. we watch Hurricane Season and a short video of Nick Vujicic. actually one thing i like about him is that he very influential and never gives up. next was the movie and there were some parts that my classmates were super funny, especially the part where they went for competition. though it was alittle boring, but at least we got lunch provided *laugh*

today art and design we had to learn crosshatching which i have no idea up till now. after school, JZ die die also want me to go see the doctor cause of my toe. to ensure that i wont give anymore excuses, he came all the way down just to bring me go to the doctor. in the end i spend like 16 bucks on this doctor trip, but thanks JZ for coming down.

Roadshow

2011-05-02T06:46:00.000-07:00

A girl that didnt know what she was doing after numbing those negative emotions that she no longer know what she doing nor how to get rid of those any longer. staying strong like always seems the only way out.

4 days of roadshow has once again end like any previous roadshow. but this time round this Harvey Norman has more sales and fun. our total sales for this roadshow was 15 tablets, so proud of myself !!

on the first day, i went late because of school so i went in the afternoon. not long after i reach there, Firdaus was the first promoter that i talk to and my partner for the roadshow is Jian Zhang. did i say i had problem at the start when i was selling the tablet ?? it seems super hard and i was super tired after a day at school. but after getting the hang of it, it actually pretty easy. first day wasnt much but getting the hang of the selling tablet.

on the second day, there were new promoters on the left and right. so there was another round of making friends. on the day itself, JZ and i made friends with the new promoters. it didnt take long for us to warm up and start chatting with one another like old friends, that the benefit of doing roadshow where we need to start talking to strangers. but today sales isnt that bad and i was damn happy when i sold my first tablet. it was super funny how we decided to play with our ages and i am called an underage girl. thanks alot really, got tease because i was called 16 years old mei mei. what the shit seriously !!

on the last day, the air con was super cold and i was like the jacket provider. but after standing so long, i took the chance to eat longer during lunch with Shu Hui and Roy. just cant explain how much laughter we had and the stupid things we did to one another just to kill our boredness. best part was everyone first impression was JZ was my boyfriend, wth la !! super funny how everyone was shocked that he wasnt just as expected. anyway i literally slept on the bus in like a spilt second.

now i cant wait for my pay to come, i seriously need to save up. Tuesday is finally here, i cant wait to meet Siti. another upcoming gossip talk with her, smexy !!

Independent is best

2011-04-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

for every person that leave, a lesson was taught and learnt. for every person that leave, trust was even harder to be given.

today art and design was again got to do with shading, good gracious me !! i keep emphasising i am not a art student and yet my drawing are passable, what a joke !! but at least today we are doing forming and i could draw cubes pretty well, just need to extend it bigger.

anyway for com @ work lesson, we had this outdoor activity where we are assigned to J8 but to different outlet. apparently we have 2 new classmates that will be joining us.

so we went out in groups to our assigned retails. Faz was super high and funny while doing the assignment for some reasons. now almost the whole class is addicted to Faz version of singing. after doing the assignment that only requires 15-20 mins, we had to assemble at Mac for Mr Yeo. so while waiting, you will know what happens. it was gossips and slacking session. that was pretty much what happened.

[ Faz ]

[ Nessa ]

[ Siti ]

[ Ayriee & Syafiq ]

[ Bumble Bee ]

[ Faz ]

[ Khalisah ]

[ Fad, Faz & Nessa ]

[ the other group ]

[ Kai, Shafiqah, Zan, Atiqah & Marielle ]

[ Nessa, Kalisah & Fad ]

[ atiqah & Marielle ]

[ Nessa & Shafiqah ]

[ Siti & Nessa ]

[ Marielle, Siti & Nessa ]

[ Atiqah & Nessa ]

[ Marielle & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & Zan ]

Lessons

2011-04-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

dont always that happen when you always tell yourself that that will be last time but end up having the whole cycle repeating itself ??

today lesson is the best because we only have one lesson that is com @ work. so we decided to help our classmates to celebrate their birthday. we already did the arrangement and start the celebration. there were other student that were looking at us helping us celebrate.

as a result of having 3 cameras, all our facebook were spammed with the tags of photos. if you are my friend on fb, you would have seen that past 3 weeks my class and i took like 100 ++ photos.

without further or do, i let the pictures do the talking

[ the birthday cake ]

[ cute right ?? ]

[ april babies ]

[ after being cut ]

[ class photo ]

[ they cutting the cake ]

[ bullying me ]

[ Nessa & Ayriee ]

[ Nessa & Mr Yap ]

[ Mr Yap ]

[ Faz, Nessa, Sankaree, Eqa & Mr Yap ]

[ Zan, Ayriee & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & Thaq ]

[ Nessa & Firdaus ]

[ Fad & Nessa ]

[ Sahari, Ayriee & Nessa ]

[ Siti, Thaq & Nessa ]

[ Syakur & Nessa ]

[ Salwa & Nessa ]

[ Cake snatching ]

[ my bandage toe ]

[ Syafiq ]

[ Nessa, Faz & Sahari ]

Strong or Weak

2011-04-25T02:19:00.000-07:00

Often people thinks is alright to hurt you just because you always protray a strong personality when deep down is like whirlpool. kindness is always taken as a weakness

time flies so fast that this week is my 3rd week of school days. i can say that i am adapting faster than i thought and things are not what i expected so i guess i can say everything is smexy awesome ??

a few things that i hate about my timetable is monday and tuesday are long day plus everyday we have com @ work. just dont know why will want to doze off at times when i am in his lesson.

anyway it been 3 weeks only and IVB have been spamming photos. super fun class to be with, everyday is a day fill with laughter, that what i like about our class.

[ Nessa, Zan & Mok ]

[ Firdaus & Nessa ]

[ the two class partners ]

[ RuiXia, Cindy, Amanda & Zanny ]

[ Nessa & Mok ]

[ Zan & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & Amanda ]

I can make it

2011-04-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

it like a motivation to myself in times of darkness.

the journey of roller coaster is starting now. trying hard not to reveal the roller coaster of emotions out but it seems that the loophole is much easier to be seen through. being so scare of showing this roller coaster, trying my best to be strong.

suddenly feel safe being in my own safety zone that i lost the guts i used to have. when experiences acts like a fence, i feel alittle safer to venture out alittle. perhaps i saved myself from bigger scars and for that i have more reasons to believe not to open up fully till i feel totally safe to do so. a world full of harsh reality !!

wondering how much effort i have to put in before you could see i am still trying throughout these years to keep to your expectation. dont overlook me is the simplest i can ask from you. i am really losing the patience to keep up and putting effort just to prove that i just that girl that always wanted you to see that i am mature enough for you to let go and trust me enough as a teenager.

i really dont know ever since when i losing the real me. i dont want this mask on me, it not me and it not real !! i want to find back that real me. why everytime i try to be kind, it always end up as a weakness to people ?? perhaps i should continue to stay strong and independent once again. signs to show that relying on people help once again will make history repeat itself. now I shall be the one protecting myself, no need anyone else.

suddenly i feel that peace and harmony is no longer here. all i ever wish is to turn back time. seriously i hate to pass the day having such thing. super annoying and just make me want to turn away from it. wondering why sometimes when i go out there, i feel much better and easier to breath. perhaps i feel easier to breath whenever i am in my own world. sometimes i wonder, i seriously wonder and have the urge to say it out.

half my life i feel that i was shape into the current me due to those scars and stuff that i am grateful for being able survive and be strong.

telling myself this is just a temporary thing. i will be stronger after this roller coaster like before. another test of roller coaster i believe i can handle it on my own !! enough of this emotional side of NESSA !!

i am going out there once again to find back myself. i promise myself the next time i am back, i will be that same old girl who is strong and love to smile like she means it.

Smile like you mean it

2011-04-21T21:23:00.000-07:00

as start from today, i will smile like i mean it and find back that old bubbly me, that a promise to myself !!

today is a super long and humid day. sport and wellness is like super depressing because we took height and weight, my height shrink 4 cm can !! but it was total cork because the machine wasnt accurate. after which was life skills lesson was pretty fun. i just love the self awareness and test that make you understand yourself more. so today i realise my best learning style is auditory and kinthestic, cool or what ??

for the first time i actually doze off in Mr Yeo lesson because he was playing a video about the difference between British English and American English. skipping the details to after school, as promised some of us helped Syafiq to celebrate his birthday. a mini celebration but that the best i could do for him, pictures say a thousand words.

[ Birthday boy ]

Heavy Burden

2011-04-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

how do you deal with the "what" in your head ?? too many "what" in my head that i dont know how to handle.

today earliest dismissal flew away because of a principal talk at Macpherson. today we had like presentation about the communication barrier and i was like stuttering to the max.

anyway today i had alittle of chit chat session with the girls and it was super hilarious how our topics are linked all the way to me. after which we took a bus to Macpherson and Mr Yap gave us chocolates, so sweet right ?? like usual, the talks make no sense at all and we are FORCED to be there. did i mention how i hate to be a freshie for now ?? what make my day worst was technology was being an asshole to me, because my dad phone that i was using auto shut off on me. as a result, someone who patiently waited for me ended up disappointed.

here are a few shots taken:

[ tiny Cindy & Amanda ]

[ Nessa & Amanda ]

[ Nessa, Rui Xia, Cindy & Amanda ]

[ Shafiqah, Nessa & Siti ]

[ Nessa & Amanda ]

[ Rui Xia & Cindy ]

Insecurities

2011-04-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

Worries sometimes affect one's mood badly and i guess that is part of insecurity.

today we had a combine lesson with the IVA class and had our first art & design. again before the lesson we had a talk. seriously i hate being a freshie because of the damn freaking numbers of talk, like seriously ??

then we had this exercise where we had to draw out a picture from the squares, circles and triangles. i guess it been awhile since i last used my brain that i couldnt think of anything at that moment.

after which was Mr Yeo lesson which i dont really fancy. maybe because he reminded me of a sec school teacher but he is much better than that teacher. got to admit that he is trying his best to make us interested in his lesson.

super lazy to type so pictures shall explain it all

[ Nessa & Amanda ]

[ Rui Xia & Nessa ]

[ Cindy & Nessa ]

[ Cindy, Amanda & Rui Xia ]

[ Nessa & Hila ]

[ alittle dark ]

[ Nessa & Syakur ]

[ clubbing outside classroom, JK ]

[ " sorry Pose ]

[ Zanny & Nessa ]

[ Ayriee & Nessa ]

[ bumble bee ]

[ Mok & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & Fadliah ]

[ Fadliah, Ayriee, Mok & Zanny ]

[ signature for sorry ]

[ group photo ]

Acceptance

2011-04-15T01:18:00.000-07:00

shouldnt it be like this when you fall for a person ?? but come again, r/s is something that changes as time goes by.

first day of art and design was pretty much of introducing and settling the class rep and stuff. i think i went around taking photos with my classmates in front of Mr Yap, my form teacher. i think i was pretty lucky to pass the stage of being class rep. seriously i think IVB can be all potential bridge leaders given our characters. partly because we seems like we known one another for 5 years or so and now we are always spamming the walls of our class.

i guess this whole term the teachers isnt that bad and i still trying to adjust back to the school life. seriously the communication @ work lecturer always like to repeat his words like some spoilt voice recorder but there are some part where he pretty funny.

i seriously hope IVB will stay the way we are for 2 years and i dont want the same secondary shit to happen * finger cross * right now, i trying to calm myself when photobucket and facebook is being a biatch to me. in addition, my charger is also being a biatch on me too. thanks alot to the world of technology. so for now this are the only photos i can upload ):

to some douchebag, i think some people brain is lacking of cells that they go round barking like a dog. i have no intentions to even start insulting because is just waste of time and breath and most importantly lower my status. at least i got the guts to admit i am taking the longer route and so what ?? at least i know it a stepping stone to my aim and goals unlike some people who accept course just for the sake of getting into poly. at least my classmates are way more awesome than you. can have such classmates anot ?? suck to it that you are no far better than i am now. you were lucky to get into a course in poly so just shut the fuck up !! you dont have the potential yet to affect me or run me down.

introducing more of my classmates:

[ Fadliah & Nessa ]

[ Amanda & Nessa ]

[ Khalisah & Nessa ]

[ Ernie & Nessa ]

[ Faz, Nessa & Syafiq ]

[ spatic face of Faz wahaha ]

[ Faz & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & Syafiq ]

[ taken during CCA orientation ]

[ Shafiyah & Fadliah ]

[ cute right ?? ]

[ Syafiq, CJ & Faz ]

[ Mr Yap ]

[ Shafiyah, Fadliah, Amanda & Nessa ]

[ Fadliah, Cindy, Rui Xia, YY, Amanda & Nessa ]

[ Sahari & Ayriee ]

[ Shafiq, Nessa, CJ & Faz ]

IDIOT, SMILE (:

2011-04-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

A reminder to an idiot who losing her smile

today is first day of orientation and while on the way to school, i was wondering the usual question like : how my class will be ?? how my teacher like ?? so on and so fro, i guess you know what i mean right ??

my first found friend was Amanda. she kept smiling at me and that how we started talking. after that, we went to our classroom and i was super happy because everyday we will be in air-con classroom, how cool is that ?? anyway next friend was Syfiqah and her friend cause we sat at the same table. seriously filling up the forms was very stupid because of the option.

then started our orientaion and we had this game whacko and stuff. Zul keep getting called out and it was super funny that our class was pretty friendly within hours. at least now the tension within our class is like broken. but first day we keep having many talks which are like super boring la.

second day was a CCA orientation at tampines campus. there was free cotton candy and popcorn, then the girl made for me a seriously huge cotton candy and i had problem eating it. anyway i decided to join dance fusion and bridge leader after much consideration of wanting to do something new and interesting. after cca orientation, we headed to giant because i wanted get some stuff.

on the way, there were this lady whose trolley got to toppled and guess who went to help the lady ?? yes, it was the annoying joker Zul. actually he not that annoying la, just very chatty. then we tease him alittle before heading to Giant and head home.

i seriously not in the mood for school life because i keep have the kick of sleeping and dozing off many times in the day and it not really nice to fight that feeling. annoying much ??

short intro about my new classmates :

[ Amanda, Nessa & Safiqah ]

[ Amanda & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & Safiqah ]

[ Nessa & Zul ]

[ the joker of the class ]

[ Nessa & Sahari ]

[ half the class ]

just for a day

2011-04-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

just for day i allow myself to declare that i wasnt alright. just for a day i just going to stop smiling and just for a day i letting my emotion run through me

two days of roadshow is like finally over and i feel like i being underpaid. anyway, i was doing Starhub roadshow at Plaza Singapura and once again i made like 3 new friends: Nelson, Huishan and Pei Jia.

anyway didnt had much sales since my was topping up for people but i did help customers with the prepaid sim cards. like i two-in-one kind of employee la, so underpaid somemore. but on the first day, Kai had lunch with me and it was his treat. what a nice bestie i have right ?? then we were doing alittle of catching up while we were having lunch and he flicked my forehead that i was feeling giddy for awhile, NO JOKE i'm serious !! first day wasnt that bad because Catherine and Jin Hao were there to guide us.

on the second day, that where i got to know Pei Jia cause he took over Hui Shan. practically i was walking the whole time to give out flyers and i keep seeing the same guy who was walking the opposite direction and giving out flyers too. half the time i was talking to Pei Jia and Nelson, that we started chatting about the usual topic : experiences and relationship. then it was like story telling time when Pei Jia asked me to fold money heart for him cause he didnt know how to. in the end, i had to rely on youtube just for one missing step.

JZ was so nice to drop by the roadshow and had a chat before he went off to do his stuff and he waited for me to knock off to have dinner. so sweet of him right ?? after which, Nelson and Pei Jia keep bullying me by calculating their pay and their commission will beat my pay alone, saddening much ?? anyway after knock off, went to had dinner with that poor JZ who was doing his stuff and who patiently waited for me to knock off. then we had a mini chat before heading home. that was pretty much that happened throughout this weekend.

Fears are never ending

2011-04-08T09:18:00.001-07:00

Fears that are always coming right in my face. how much longer can i fight it all ?? i no longer find that much strength to go through this any longer. maybe it really a time to call for a time out.

today went out with Jasmine and Joey to Qeentown because Joey had to go do her school stuff so i met Jasmine first before heading to meet Joey. we had lunch at IKEA, joey favourite place and obviously we all know IKEA is well known for meatball.

some reasons, Joey went off and both Jasmine & I continue to search for my shoes, yes wth right ?? anyway, i had like problem deciding whether to buy VANs or the Converse shoes because both was to my liking. then Jasmine and I did something which make us really very realistic that was to check the price tag because I was on budget. then Jasmine was like reminding me of the prices, which was super funny. decided to go for the Converse instead because it was something similar to my Nike shoes.

so after which we decided to head to Suntec to hunt for Jasmine slippers or whatever nuts and that where i realise she was the girl that was the same class as me when i took the japanese course. pretty much small world right ?? but yes, we then started talking about the lessons and laughed that it took us pretty long to realise that.

anyway, we went to walk around to look for Jasmine sandals but it didnt suit her. did i say that the bloody Converse paper bag was seriously a hinder through my journey ?? reason being is IT IS SUPER BIG just to contain one bloody pair of shoes. so after walking, accompany Jasmine to eat her dinner and we had our mini chat at Burger Kings.

obviously the last activity for the day was to camwhore because it will be a while before the next colour pencils meet up, hence the combination of the photos at the bottom. yes, i had a new hair-do and my fringe look freaking weird. so i will definitely look weird in the photos. well, that pretty much for today (:

Life can be biatch at times

2011-04-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

It will be fine as long i keep up with this positive attitude. one day my roller coaster will go back up again, now it just a momentary down moment.

today Jian Zhang was a kind soul to waste his off day just for me. i met him at the MRT to go down to Blasteir to sign this form that i accepting my appeal course, like seriously all the way down just for one signature. i was lucky to had JZ around cause i was like a road idiot and didnt know how to go to the school. he literally helped me do the talking and i just had to sign the form. after signing the damn form, JZ brought me to Shaw to have ice cream.

there this flavour sizzle raspberries that gave me a new experience. it a flavour where you bite the chocolate and it start to sizzle cause of the sweet they put inside. next was the chocolate stout that JZ bought which was a very strong alchol, then we start to hunt for my black shoes and i wanted to get VANs. sadly to say, none of the VANs was to my liking.

so we decided to slack the remaining time and he treated me to Gong Cha. as compared to KOI milk tea, i still choose KOI because despite 80% sugar level, the tea still was kind of bitter. again, i chose esplanade roof garden because it was windy and we had our slacking moments there. didnt manage to take picture with him and that about it for today.

2011-04-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

As you grow, it seems that staying happy and smiling get lesser and troubles get more, and the only way out is to fake a smile.

finally 3 days of roadshow is over and once again i am back with jelly legs. but it was pretty worth it like IT fair. glad that i dont have to go all the way to expo so freaking early in the morning.

last day was super busy and fun day for me at least. to boost up sales, Joey and i had to keep screaming and everyone was like laughing and looking at us. as compared to the other 2 days, today we were more towards serious business. got to admit, there were some annoying customers who think they are the biggest and they are the only one rushing for time. lucky my booth people were there to chill me within seconds.

at least today i manage to learn the spec for MP3 and sold a handful for a first timer. somehow i feel IT fair customers are the more steady kind as compared to this Gain City roadshow. well, the lemon days for me still was happening and i was like being served lemon without any help, pretty much poor thing ?? one incident was i tongue tied in front of the customer and i said " shit, what the hell am i blabbing " and the customer laughed at me.

kind of pity that i didnt manage to take pictures due to the tiredness that we had at the end of the day. but at least the time working is once again quite worth because i had fun just like the IT Fair. now my legs are once again going to break and right now i need my sleep. good night Earthlings (:

happiness is the key

2011-03-31T06:23:00.000-07:00

it isnt easy to gain happiness but it is simple if you look around closely and see happiness sometimes is lying around.

another 2 more weeks and i am back to a school kind of life yet i am no ready for the going-back-to-school life. is like a battle between excited and the slacker mood.

once again, my 2nd pay never last 24 hours in the bank. in order to fix my wild grass hair, i dragged my 2nd jie with me to do rebonding plus a haircut. after much painstaking process, the outcome was something new to me. my fringe is almost like bangs when it doesnt stay slanted plus my hair length is way shorter than before. still intend to keep it longer after rebonding, get what i mean ??

but on the other hand, money can be earn again and mum is paying for my VANs shoes (: tommorow to sunday, i am send to expo to be a money slave for my 3rd pay. die die next week i am so going to drag the COLOUR PENCILS gang to meet up before school starts.

i want 3 days to hurry past and fringe to grow faster, i seriously look super weird. next week, is meet ups with my fellow friends, that a deal to myself. i think tommorow i will have a high day with Joey around. wahaha, have to wake up freaking early man just because of the bloody travelling time.

Fight For Survival

2011-03-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

If maintaining a smile would be a better choice, i would fake a smile just for a white lie.

havent been updating this space of my and i aplogise to my reader IF there is any still reading my blog.

well, first i would like to share a good news is I PASSED MY COURSE INTERVIEW !! which means I GOT INTO VISUAL MERCHANDISING !! at least i am glad FOR ONCE that i went for the course interview and what more i postpone it. guess the section head was a really nice person.

let me tell you briefly how the interview was. first the section head briefly intro me and another guy what the course about and what we are suppose to do in the interview which was like an hour. so we had to do drawing which was my deathpoint but i just whack anyhow and try to be arty farty by using colour pencils. i was super stress when i see the guy who drew better than me. moving on to the next part, i had to explain my drawing and stuff to the section head and he asked me a few questions. for the first time, i was acting so normally in an interview. perhaps was because i used the way of keeping myself calm and confident that i learn from my camp instructor job. who knows the next few days, i received the news that i was accepted that i immediately jump down from my bed and scream for my mum.

next was my pay is finally in man like after freaking 2 months. but it flew away after i gave the money to my mum for grocery stuff. now have to find another part time job to earn for my own pocket money.

things are at least getting better for me and i still surviving !! right now i using that incident as a drive for my motivation and i believe this time round i can do it, JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

Harder to breath

2011-03-15T07:06:00.000-07:00

it harder to breath now, i need a breather for a minute. i need to escape reality just for awhile. at this point of time, i choosing to be a coward just for once.

trying my best not to start ranting about the recent happening but only share the good stuff with my readers, should there be any reader still.

right now i am back to jobless again so i need a job again. decided not to go the other camp company for various reason. now i left roughly about 3 weeks at least before my school really starts. nothing much to blog because i still trying to stop myself from relying on this space to rant out.

finally got the pictures from Yulin and cousin. so pictures can be finally uploaded after several tries cause photobucket was being an asshole to me.

[ the girls ]

[ my booth people ]

[ Man Ling, Nessa & Sharmaine ]

[ Nessa & Sharmaine ]

[ 2nd Jie and Da Jie ]

[ Nessa & cousin ]

[ Nessa & Da Jie ]

[ the massive group photo ]

[ Xueni, Yong Yi, Joey & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & 2nd Jie ]

[ Nessa, Xueni, Man Ling & Sharmaine ]

Is Being Strong Good

2011-03-13T22:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i secretly wish that things would change but i know that is pointless right now to even think about it. suddenly it so hard to express out the feelings that is stirring deep down.

finally it the last day of IT Fair !! was counting down the hours and things dont seems to be smooth from the start of the day. my legs are really super tired and feel like it going to give way. time pass really slow for today and some reason !!

for some reason, many of my colleagues are down with fever and sore throat on this very last day. got to say this is a good working experience for me since my only working experience is camp instructor which i still wish more will be coming up. been awhile since i last wake up this early since my body clock has spoilt. best part of the day was my bestie, Kai, came down to find me and that cheered me alittle, and later part of the day my other cousin came to find me too. what make me glad was that some of my customers came back as promise and asked me for stocks.

now i let the picture do the talking because super tired and dont know how to blog the whole IT show thing. still got another batch of photo yet to get from my cousin. super lazy to walk now, legs dont seems to belong to me ):

last day of IT Fair, hence the number of photos >.<

[ Lee Jie & Nessa ]

[ Xiao Ting & Nessa ]

[ Mother look alike ?? ]

[ Lee Jie & Nessa ]

[ Sharmine, Wendy, Xiaoting & Nessa ]

[ Wendy & Nessa ]

[ Jasmine, Yong Yi, Josqline & Nessa ]

[ Sharmaine, Manling, Wendy, Xiao Ting & Nessa ]

[ Nessa, Lee Jie & Jaren ]

[ Xiao Ting & Wendy ]

[ Man Ling & Nessa ]

[ Nessa & Sharmaine ]

[ Nessa, Sharmaine, Wendy & Xiao Ting ]

[ Cousin & Nessa ]

[ Liyana, Jane, Xiao Ting & Nessa ]

[ Sharmaine, Man Ling, Wendy, Xiao Ting & Nessa ]

[ challenge success to take this much people ]

[ Vanessa, Sharmaine, LeeJie, Manling, Wendy, Xiao Ting, Cousin & Nessa ]

[ no idea where i was looking ]

[ the two Vanessa ]

[ 2 Vanessa & Cousin ]

[ Nessa & Lance ]

[ Nessa & Joey ]

[ Man Ling & Nessa ]

[ Wendy, Nessa & Tuan Hung ]

[ Lee Jie & Nessa ]

[ Jasmine & Nessa ]

[ Yong Yi, Jasmine & Nessa ]

[ great, i forgot their names !! ]

[ Lance & nessa plus the other names which will find out soon ]

[ her eyes damn big !! ]

[ two familes of cousins, can guess ?? ]

[ Toh cousins ]

[ Man Ling & Nessa ]

[ Nessa, Jaren & Lee Jie ]

IT Fair

2011-03-11T07:46:00.000-08:00

been in a state where you try to stay strong but it actually hurts so much deep down so much ?? problems are like a snowball that keeps rolling right now and i wish i still had that kind of special cheering up from ......

finally i am back home while waiting for my hair to dry, i shall quickly blog about today and yesterday. i am currently working at IT Fair for my cousins and today is the 2nd day. good gracious me, the crowd, the sore legs, the hours of talking is enough to drain my energy BUT is fun and quite relaxing actually.

yesterday was the first day of IT fair and the crowd was pretty big. had to learn the products and promote them. the meals was like so not appetizing but no choice have to eat though i skipped dinner. good news for my section that is selling headphones and earpieces is that we sold 3 models fully. made some new colleagues which were pretty nice and friendly.

today report way too early cause my booth people came late so tommorow i am going to report slightly later too (: once again, at the end of the day we sold the same 2 earpieces fully. but today we had to really had to muti-task and there were a huge crowd that was interested in the products. dinner was much better than yesterday and hence i manage to eat almost all up. then after packing up, my sis came over and disturb abit while we were having a mini photo taking. time really pass damn fast and we didnt know it was time to pack up. but my legs are really damn sore at this moment, no joke !! left with 2 more days before this show is over, hoping that my group comission will be high.

using my front camera and after work, hence such quality pictures:

[ Sharmaine, Leejie, Jaren & Nessa ]

[ my teammates ]

[ Xueni, Nessa & Manling ]

[ Jaren, Lee Jie & Nessa ]

[ Jaren & Nessa ]

[ Lee Jie & Nessa ]

[ Sharmaine & Nessa ]

[ Cousin and Nessa ]

Waiting .... NOT

2011-03-03T08:32:00.000-08:00

What and why am i waiting for when i chose to pull the stops ?? either do i know how to pull myself out ... either way i'm stuck.

for the very first time, i hate a message which i never thought of receiving. next week i am going to have an interview cum drawing test for my appeal course man !! this cause me to panic and nerve wrecking for me can !! first is because i am not a arty farty person, so to ask me draw is like expecting me to handle in a primary school standard kind of drawing or maybe slightly better. second is i will stutter when is interview. keeping my finger cross man, hopefully it doesnt clash with my work too.

now i hate the night because i cant switch on my room light as the wiring is spoilt. one moment i turn it on, it will be alright and the next moment i turn it on again, my house will experience eclipse. yes, no joke man !! annoying much ?? so today just totally sucks !! i still wondering if i should skip the interview and accept the course being offered to me, save the trouble and my face wahaha. but given my stupid character, i still going for the damn interview next week. this my first time having an interview to get a place in the course !! family surprisingly telling me that they support me and ask me go for it when they jolly well know the answer =.="

right now my inner self is like a a compass without a needle and lucky for me it havent reach a stage where i feel super suffocating which i hope will stay like this. going on like this isnt a good idea nor being able to pull myself out is helping me much, either way i am stuck. guess i have to stick back to the old tradition way of my or NOT ... argh !!

[ the naughty dog who looks pitiful ]

[ the mess he did to show us he loved us ]
^
^
^
^
^
^
cute right ?? a heart shape mess, wahaha. my dog loved us too much that he showing us despite showing his temper , okies-dookies. i being retarded here !!

Love Hurts Whether Right Or Wrong

2011-02-28T06:58:00.000-08:00

This is something we wont be able to hold or learn in a lifetime. can i filter the memories i dont want to store ??

ever like a job that you truly enjoy and wish you could carry on working ?? i seriously dont know how to make people close to me understands how much i like this job. i never felt so happy and challenged ever that i want to overcome, is like i want to prove to myself or so that i can do it. you know, i never enjoy such high satisfaction and never realise how encouragement gave me more strength to overcome the obstacle. maybe because i find it fun and interesting meeting different people and learning things i never thought i could learn. but i really wish for a moment, they could try to understand how i really like and feel proud of this job. i know it because of the pay that is the problem and their worries. how far will you go to continue doing something you really like even though people feel it not suitable for you ??

everyone want and is trying to find happiness but most of the time we overlook the small amount of happiness around us. if we really take a look, happiness need not be big, it could be found in our friends and family. often we thought happiness is having enough money, having a perfect partner, having high education and we often seek for it. yes, these are the necessities for our daily life and important to survive. but while trying to have those, do we ever count our blessing that we had ?? maybe it is human nature to turn the simplest thing into the most complicating things. actually if we really stop and look, happiness is actually a simple thing to get and it boils down on how we think.

once again people asking whether i am in a relationship. i dont have to spent my time justisfying and explaining things which i have done that a few times. my life and i realise the more you explains, the worst it become. suddenly after few incident, i think my thoughts were more or less the same like before.

sometimes i wonder what rights do people have to look down on others who dont have such qualification as them ?? does it mean those who are not highly educated are all the bottom people and stupid ?? you never know they are better in other things besides studies. i not pinpointing or being sarcastic to any particular people, just that it just trigger off the tolerance that i have. will you feel better if you look down on someone who is aint that good in studies as you ?? seriously a paper doesnt label a person for who she or he is, neither do i think a person with no education are all bad influence or stupid. perhaps their interest or talent is outside textbook. i seriously wonder why people will look down or give a look at people who lower qualification. it just stupid and snobbish, maybe because i do experience it myself. but as long i know i am better at something, is more than enough.

lately i am full of random-ness which is pretty odd. suddenly it seems i looking at things in a different light and it suddenly feels great to be stepping out of my comfort zone. right now i really want to prove and i hope i can do it. kind of upset at times when words isnt strong enough to carry what your mind is trying to put across. so frustrating to try and end up failing terribly !! maybe it a sign to head to the beach to vent out everything !!

Start of Spring Cleaning

2011-02-23T06:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes problems aint necessarily bad. they are to shape us into a better and stronger person. guess those events that happened plays a part and i glad that i manage to be the stronger person i wanted to be.

here once again to blab a whole lot of nonsense that would be the last as promise. hearing stories that you never thought it will happen in reality, you somehow wonder what the odd of such things happening on you.

And again i had to rely on my best friend again for help to start picking up the pieces. i think almost everytime when i was down, i unknowingly rely on my best friend before i start picking myself up and run forward. at least i know there a friend i can totally rely on.

these few days, my mind subconsciously acts like a reminder to me. is the first time ever that has happen to me but may be a good thing for me too. wondering when will i stop saying things that different from the mind and heart, like what they say " heart say this, mind say another thing " i guess this test is a failure and there nothing to make up to pass. i should stick to it and stop thinking about it, ROAR !!

well, after today my heart is going on a spring cleaning mode. time to clean up all the mess and start running forward again. wishing things will be back the same is just some wishful thinking. maybe time really will do the job, and also call it a period of spring cleaning for me.

right now this songs really suits my mood, to run away from all of this. wondering just this spilt second about a particular person thinking. never mind, today is the last of all this !! should stop thinking about this shit when everything seems so transparent. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT AFTER TODAY !!

i guess the changes between this friendship is so much that i should get used to not able to contact you. either do i know what you want this friendship to be, perhaps i should leave it to you till you start talking to me once again. really wish i could start talking to you once again like before, really. from today onwards, i try my best to get over you too like you are right now.

Back From Chalet

2011-02-19T22:03:00.000-08:00

Some words said and damage is done, only time can do the job. i choosing to run away still because you just stirred up everything that i manage to sort out.

finally back from my sis boyfriend 21st chalet. well, we reach there like super early to so called help out and end up slacking for quite abit. after a few of his friends came, we went to get some stuff and unload the things from the van. funny part was when we were going down the slope, my sis couldnt control the trolley and it almost roll off.

soon we start with the bbq and preparing as more people are coming. one thing that annoys me much was that our room is on the second floor and had to go up and down to get stuff, annoying much ?? well, then i got to make some new and funny friends and they were telling me about some issues. next was the cutting of the cake which eventually turn into something out of hand but fun.

as some people know, birthday cakes normally ends up on the face and not really in the stomach. so after photo taking, his friends asked him to do some stuff and then my sis plus one of his npcc friends gathered to discuss how to " tao pok " him. but i decided to add in another round of birthday smash with only cream. so we end up running all of the place to avoid being smashed. i swear it wasnt nice to be the last person to get the punishment despite some friend shouting that i was hiding in the bush. i got smashed right in the face with a bottle of cold water being poured by my darling sister.

well, then alittle more of food fight and we started packing up. i think i made a good decision of not bathing till the very end. after bathing, we played monopoly deal which i just learnt. now i have to wait for Zi Jun to upload the tons of pictures before i can take. but i had fun throughout the whole time even though it was alittle awkward.

right now my watch is spoilt and my feet is bruised ): i also want to watch " Ballerina who love B-boy " but the ticket super ex and they are once again back in SG. sigh ... can the tickets drop from the sky ??

[ total engross ]

[ VS-ing with my sis ]

[ Nessa and Zi Jun ]

[ shaky hands ]

[ still playing ]

[ brother-in-law and Nessa ]

[ Zi Jun and Bro-in-law ]

if you realise, i not ready to treat you like before especially after saying those things out and i know the same for you. i thought we had a time off to stay away from one another to sort things out. almost got used to not contacting you to stop myself from thoughts till you stirred all that up.

Wake Up Call

2011-02-18T07:04:00.000-08:00

wake up call to remind me that two different worlds cannot become one. knowing the answers and short experience, i glad that i skipped the whole chapter. standing here, feeling proud of my own world and comfortable.

today i was reading the link that my CIC, Sean gave me yesterday. suddenly i realise i been reading and talking alot of chimlogy which doesnt suit my style. after reading through, begin to pick something that a whole new world to me. it was about relationship and stuff which brought me back a hell way back then. the times when i had my own thoughts and criteria.

"A real relationship is one where you love that person enough to be honest. Honest about who you are, honest about what you plan to do and be, and honest about how you feel about them and what they do and say."
Agreeing to this sentence and i am lucky i had experience such a relationship before. what the purpose of putting on a mask and hiding all your flaws ?? come to think about it, isnt it good to have someone that accepts your flaws or shortcoming and like you for who you are even though you are imperfect ??

Love is all but a word. Love is simply temporary emotions you go through and these emotions will alter with time and circumstances. Should your supposed loved ones leave you, please be patient and let time heal all wounds and ease your pain. Do not overly dwell in the beauty of love. Do not overly wallow in the pains of loss.
Somehow it reminds me of the closeness i share with my family that not many people can understand. this kinship that i never imagine i would ever have even though we dont express it out but somehow felt it. despite the noise level and the bickering everyday, it seems to us that has become something that keep us close. Kinships come once in a lifetime and we always take it for granted till we lose it. i guess even though i am family oriented, i know my family are the same as me.

You cant expect a rainbow without any rain. Changes are part of life.
Well, i guess when come to changes, i getting better at adapting changes around me. perhaps there are always changes in my life that i gradually learnt how to adapt. thinking thoroughly, i never gave much thoughts of a relationship and just enter into one just base on feelings alone. throwing aside my thoughts and totally forgotten about it, perhaps is better to stick to my own thinking.

suddenly i could feel the difference from yesterday and today, saw that coming but i never thought it was this soon. right now i guess things turn out this way is the best way. as much as i wish i could crap with you, i still keep to the promise i made, hoping that things will be back to the same like before.

Charity Event

2011-02-11T07:42:00.000-08:00

i chose to run before it starts. Got no courage to face up that i let my low self esteem control. wondering if the direction is towards me or away from me. is there any signs to get a clearer picture ??

today my day was pretty meaningful and packed like for the first time. first i had to wake up at like 7 plus because i had OJT training that starts at freaking hell 9am but had to meet Mr nice guy, Paul at Clark Quay cause i didnt know how to go. went to this so called conference room with a awkward environment.

after playing " nice to meet you " we had the proper training about the whole thing which was pretty much like a lecture. then there was this activity which got us all to figure out a way and like work as a team, similar to what most of the objective are in the camp. due to the charity event, i had to leave early.

on the way, i was telling Paul how happy i was, clearing the OJT means i can have more assignments and he was just staring cause he was really tired. headed to Bukit Batok to start the charity. is only after we had to decorate the place, then we started talking. think we were playing and joking about some stuff, asking for names and that where we started to be more chatty.

i think ushering was like totally useless cause it was free seating and the residents rather choose their own. anyway there this aunty super cute and we took some pictures and exchange facebook accounts before leaving early. some of the volunteer really thought Paul and I were siblings cause he went round telling people i was his sister, nice one man !! we went to watch Black Swan at West Mall.

think there were some part that was like horror movie and i was screaming at some disgusting sight. scream at some part that Paul had to cover my eyes cause i was peaking through my fingers. but i love the movie man, super thrilling and fantastic that made me miss my last bus. so my brother for the day was so nice to drive me home and i finally get to eat cha ye dan in SG.

right now i wonder if i should do mentoring, since it also part of a charity. never mind, now i still waiting for the other two pictures to be send. seriously today was pretty much meaningful for me. hope next charity will be like this (:

[ new found friend minus Paul ]

[ this cute aunty ]

[ CNY dinner ]

House Visit

2011-02-10T06:20:00.000-08:00

finally Fi Fi send me the photo at Paul house. last Saturday i think we went Paul house for visiting. his house damn cute, because there were two rows of terrains house but it was surrounded with condo around it. anyway i finally took picture with Fi Fi.

after Fi Fi left, Molly and the rest then came. just realise on that very day that whatever topic we are talking will somehow be related to our job as camp instructors or camps, super funny !! anyway, after which we were hearing some funny stories from Issac. must admit he still such a entertainer from camp till now, we even asked him to shared his side of love stories since we all shared ours. i really like the way he tells us or talk, sure damn hilarious.

well, soon was dinner time and we helped to set up the stuff for steamboat( again ) and waited for Sean to come. then after dinner, we went to the park to have a mini chatting session. time really pass damn fast man !! unknowingly hear stories till like 11pm. Zhi Bin was kind enough to share cab with me and the uncle in the cab was really cute too !! he was like asking Zhi Bin for the chinese names of places and he drives pretty fast. wahaha, kind of love my life that full of activities (:

right now i damn sian cause last min Sean ask me go down for OJT and the rest have already went for it. what make it more surprising was i agreed with Paul to do charity to help the unprivileged kids celebrate CNY. almost believe Sean that i have to wear the instructor shirt. okies-dookies, maybe on the brighter side i will get to make 8 new friends. another good reason why i should wake up early too, wahaha.

CREDIT TO FI FI PHOTOGRAPHY:

[ big bang theory ]

[ Fi Fi and Nessa ]

[ Nacho ]

[ Jia Xi and Nessa ]

[ Paul and Issac ]

[ orange on loan ]

[ Jia Xi and geeky Nessa ]

[ Issac, my mirror ]

Fantasy killed

2011-02-05T07:51:00.000-08:00

today i realise that two different world can never be one and there always a gap where you cant never close up. i guess i know i shouldnt aim for something beyond my world, it time to come back to reality. thank gosh it was just a fantasy !!

today went out with Paul cause today he decided to accept his lost to me in the bet but i was late and he was so nice to come all the way to Serangoon MRT to wait for me. so we headed off to Plaza Sing and caught a movie " Homecoming " which i feel that was super hilarious .

Paul made me feel that he was like a walking library cause he was naming alot of authors that seems alien to me and i think we kind of have different liking to what we read though i just started to read, yes, I AM READING NOVELS !! got to eat my spicy miso ramen and it was awesome like usual. right now if my contact lens have stock, i think it will make my day much better man. so we went to the river of ang bao to take a look and it like my first time going to such venue which make me feel like Hong Kong for that spilt second.

finally went to Esplanade rooftop garden ( very slow i know ) and chit chat for awhile before heading home. for some reasons, my dog liked Paul cologne and he was crawling up to Paul who seems shock when Coby did that. this is the first time Coby is reacting like that to strangers because normally he doesnt react to any and live in a world of himself.

tml AGAIN visiting at Paul house with my fellow colleagues. just cant wait to meet those entertainers again, i like super excited !! think i been telling Paul that today (:

[ Merong ]

[ his version of puffer fish ]

[ his favourie pose ]

BUNNY YEAR

2011-02-03T07:04:00.000-08:00

take the plunge right now seems risky for me ?? having those reasons, i held back. not knowing what the outcome will be, it safer if i keep mum about it but deep down i really wish you would know.

well , first and for most HAPPY BUNNY LUNAR YEAR TO YOU EARTHLINGS !!

this year CNY visit is much shorter than any other year because many of my relatives are celebrating theirs under the soil ( if you get what i mean ) and we had to go out in the afternoon cause of the weather. how great right ?? so we went to my dad side first to visit my yeye and i think my ye ye damn cute like usual. he was asking us to show him our boyfriend in future and was doing alittle teasing while my aunt was telling us about this machine she just bought.

next and the last stop was my mum side and left a handful of my cousins as they rest left very early. at the table again, my sister and i was like debating with my aunt about certain issues so in the end we end up bursting into laughter. nothing much to elaborate so pictures does all the talking.

i cant wait for sunday !! another meet up with the instructors and visiting to Paul house, wahaha. wonder what fun will we have this time round ?? hmmmm...

[ Da jie , Aunt , Peiyan Jie ,
Janessa, Nessa and 2nd jie ]

[ Nessa and Janessa ]

[ Peiyan Jie and 2nd Jie ]

{ Nessa and Uncle ]

[ 2nd Jie and Nessa ]

[ funny face starts ]

[ sexy babe ]

[ da yi and 2nd jie ]

[ Miss Singapore ]

[ 2nd Jie and Janessa ]

[ The Ladies ]

[ 2nd Jie special effect ]

[ The pretty ladies ]

Let Me Look Strong

2011-02-02T01:14:00.000-08:00

time to learn how to filter nasty criticism and stop trying to please the world . there always people who thinks that you're aint good enough . it takes time before i really get immune to such people on Earth .

a promise to myself and my best bud that i always use positivity to tackle negativity and that i wont let those negative feeling control me again but here on a Chinese New Year , i going to keep that promise aside and start shooting .

everytime trying to look strong and independent just to prove i can make it on my own and to the world , i wasnt any weakling but deep down i wonder who i was trying to kid . i guess only my best bud knows whenever i was trying to hide from him , as if he knows me like a book . pushing myself and learning to suppress those feeling , i pushed myself to a new level , not knowing whether it a good thing or bad thing . nevertheless , i realise that in the end benefit most is actually me , myself . at least i would stop relying on others and wouldnt let any moment of being stranded there not knowing where to head on .

sometimes because of face or trying to prove those close to you especially your love ones , you do all means ( legally ) to breakfree from the little kid image or whatsoever . kind of hurting when you are being judged with a verdict without giving any chance of explaination or perhaps explainations has lost its meaning in certain issues . maybe how people look cant be changed and as long you know the truth and believe in yourself that you are different from how they think of you .

suddenly i having random thoughts which are affecting my mood . got to admit lose that i havent really move on , after all it quite a period of time and a special one indeed but there no way i am going back . after hearing some words from friends , you guys left me there to ponder . though it early and has yet to happen , i couldnt help thinking about it . not knowing whether it a good thing or bad thing , i just could think about the " what-ifs " or perhaps is really not the time to even go think about it . just wouldnt believe unless it from the person itself or whatsoever , such short duration .

well , that it for now because i know i shouldnt be like this . SMILE and tell myself i can do it because i am a Noah Snail (:

Instructor Meet Up

2011-01-31T20:19:00.000-08:00

Wait on Love because there is no rush . If the other is the one , you dont have to worry about the right timing , the right circumstances or the right conditions . It will happen .

well , yesterday i manage to do my school stuff on time and meet my fellow colleagues though all was late and two of my colleagues reach minutes before me . so we had to wait for Paul , we were walking to Marina Square . after that sotong arrived we went to had our lunch first and during lunch , they had a debate about one of Zen perspective on an issue . super funny to see them debate and trying to arrive to an conclusion , but at that point of debating , they were laughing at me cause i was tearing due to my contact lens that was super irritating for the day .

then we move on to bowling while waiting for Thiviyah and Jia Xi . Paul and i were like saying Molly might be a secret bowler or has the talent for bowling cause she strike . then while waiting for both Thiviyah and Jia Xi to come , we decided to prank them on sms which made us have a good laugh . Jia Xi is like super cute , her talking and actions !!

then i think we made a choice of movie to watch " Hereafter " though i get some part of the movie . now it makes me wonder if after life do exist , something that no one will know i suppose . so we had this last part of the meet up was to sit down and chit chat at Esplanade there . we had Paul and Molly who had mini Kbox session , and picture taking though it was damn dark that i eventually gave up taking .

BEST PART was we were all sharing our love stories and questioning each other about it . super interesting and entertaining !! for some reasons , i love hearing stories about people's experiences and stuff like this cause it like an eye opener to me and never know what you will gain from it . but yst my CIC Sean was keeping me in suspense after talking about his side of story , so didnt manage to hear his .

after the sharing session , we ended the meet up as a SUCCESS !! group hugs before going home NOT alone . Paul was so nice to send me home because all of them are staying at the West and i the only one at the North , pretty much saddening !! my sotong so nice friend wahaha , anyway during the bus ride he was like entertaining me with stories from his NS life which was super hiliarious and he was still singing to his iphone . like usual i always show people Coby and he fell for Coby wahaha .

[ Nessa , Zen and Molly ]

[ Nessa , Zen , Molly & Paul ]

[ Nessa and Molly ]

[ Jia Xi and Nessa ]

[ Jia Xi , Nessa & Thiviyah ]

[ getting darker ]

[ Zen ]

[ Paul acting cool ]

[ Paul and Molly ]

Slowly , Baby Steps

2011-01-30T06:53:00.000-08:00

when reality and dreams are worlds apart , you start waking up not hoping that one day your dreams come true . when wishes lost its meaning , you will find it useless to wish for one .

once again another song that suits how i am thinking or my mood . couldnt find any english video to really express out the thoughts . that make me really chi- na , when i am not .

*finger cross* for tommorow transfer of course and the weather for kite flying !! for the first time i feel that applying for a school is hell lot of problem , ROAR !! toodles people , hopefully tommorow i take tons of photos (:

I'll Walk Here Alone

2011-01-27T00:17:00.000-08:00

some things are better off being part of memories instead of ruining those beautiful memories . through certain things we come across , there always a lesson ready for us , whether we like it anot and before we know it , we are halfway through the lesson . i will remember those times because it some unique that i never have .

i think lately i am going insane thanks to my awesome bunch of colleagues . seriously , total MADNESS when we start to conference on MSN . i think it like from a normal chat and the conversation will lead into some madness that will make us all laugh like an idiot at home . like for the past 2 days , we been having this really crazy conversations that is much more funnier than what we have in the camp , wahaha . totally awesome people that i really never meet before .

right now 4 more days to our first meet up and i am already super excited man !! after discussing for quite some time and the contribution of the most funny ideas , we then came out with what to do . hmmm , just cant wait for Monday to come , teehee !! bet my family is again going to start their nonsense once again cause lately colleagues and i are like totally insane with our conversation !!

i also want to travel like some of my colleagues ): super tempting because some are going Taiwan and Japan la !! but at least i can get souvenirs when they travel , a small benefit wahaha . just kidding !! now i want a job because i want moolah ): now i want a job , all the job run away . it always the opposite , damnnit !!

Picking Myself Up Once Again

2011-01-24T23:56:00.000-08:00

i dont believe that i will remain at this same spot for long . i dont want to stay that knowing that it has become a past . i've got to be strong and firm to start running forward once again .

i may lost some things away with a percentage that i might regret but then what i gain was much more worth than what i lost and for that i know that i am one level up than before . i dont want to think about it anymore , i want to run forward once again !! i can do it , this song perfectly suits what i was thinking through .

New Experience

2011-01-21T04:48:00.000-08:00

As time goes by , it seems that it starts to fade off and soon it end up with nothing left except for the last goodbye i said . recalling back those times , i couldnt do much or hope much anymore . goodbyes and parting are just part of life , i am just left to learn it on my own .

i am finally back from my camp which was my first experience in this job . i got to say that it was really enjoyable and through this camp , i really learn alot and gain a new experience . i think wouldnt for my colleagues who were patient and caring to teach me or guide me along , i wouldnt have make it . although some part of the camp were alittle challenging , NESSA MANAGE TO SURVIVE THIS ( 3 cheer for Nessa ) .

first day of the camp , my group was seriously hard to handle cause the boys were constantly arguing and scattering everywhere . lucky my partner was able to help me control them abit , i think he helped me up alot to handle my group . i get to know a wonderful funny bunch of new people man !! a job that i enjoyed and dont seems to be like a job . right now my body dont seems to belong to me , totally sore and lack of energy . i think my friend , Zhi Bin , will say this is so not me . i always the kind that not scare of anything .

anyway here are some pictures that we took after the camp

[ descending order ]

[ the guys ]

[ failed jump shot ]

[ the girls ]

[ formal shot ]

[ failed shot #2 ]

2011-01-13T23:03:00.000-08:00

OMG , they are like so innocent and funny .

one word : P-R-I-C-E-L-E-S-S ... PRICELESS !!

2011-01-13T06:22:00.000-08:00

wheeeeeeeeeeee !! finally i have applied and i just need to participate in the waiting game with my finger cross that JAE will win instead of JIE wahaha .

seriously need thank the people at Simei for advising and helping me out with my application . PLUS PLUS PLUS i swear the campus is bigger than a bloody shopping mall , seriously calling that a school isnt suitable

I AM SO HAPPAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

JUST SHUT UP

2011-01-07T21:35:00.000-08:00

all that i could do now was to watch you leave , hoping that we wouldnt end up this way . knowing that it is the best for the both of us . holding on to the feeling , all was left is the memories i had with you .

really grateful to some friends for the care and i promise that i wont cry or be negative (:

seriously outsider are in no position to judge about us . this decision is for the both of us to decide , so shut the fudge up and stop giving comments that it not the best solution and stuff !! worst if you dont even know anything , dont try to act smart .

i dont care how you think or whatever , dont try act like you know everything because seriously you are such a turn off . just mind your own business and keep those sarcastic remarks to yourself !!

i am alright if you are trying to care or give some comment but some comment you ought to know IS STUPID or try to act like a love garu or whatsoever !! just get really annoyed when people try to pretend they know alot of my things and give their own comment which doesnt help the situation at all . appreciate your care but NOT your act smartness !!

like whatever , hope you can SHUT UP after this !!

I WANT ICE CREAM AND CHOCOLATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011

2011-01-01T00:34:00.000-08:00

Fate is something that always happening and cant be guessed . suddenly i realise that fate or consciences always happened when i bumped into . with this tinge feeling , how to go on from here ?? there isnt a solution to please both sides .

hey Earthling ,

2011 is here and that fast !! anyway let me update about the countdown that doesnt have much pictures as i wanted to because i brought the wrong memory stick , stupid or what but whatever .

we meet up at AMK Mrt like the usual . went to find Chuan and Co. at kpool before they had their lunch after alot of discussion on where to eat . i didnt eat because of the nausea feeling from the stomach flu of yst night and the stupid guys went into teasing mode . we decided to go Marina Barrage there for our countdown and the sky were super nice cause of the lighted up kites . we were constantly sprayed by the stupid foam thing .

to buy time , we started playing poker . not to mention these guys always have poker with them just for impromtu incident that need entertainment . but i and poker always clash so ya . then about 11 plus , Chuan wanted change place to Town area so off we went to the chartered bus . that when i know Huiping is not coming , thank alot girl !! on the bus , Man Tou was disturbing Zhi Bin and causing the massive loud laughter . then again these fickle minded people took a cab and literally ran to catch the firework . because of the nausea , i walked so Tat and Man ran alittle slower .

after which they headed to Lau Pa Sa to eat supper and in the end some of them got free food . Hassan damn busted because the lady came ask about the mee goreng he pretended that it wasnt his because of the cockroach that kept flying into our table . from there Chuan and Wenjing went off so the rest headed to Clark Quay there and for the first time there is filled with drunkard . super scary !! in the end we watied for Man parents to come fetch us , so meanwhile was poker time again !!

suddenly the air became colder and i fell asleep for a super short while . finally Man parents came . good gracious , she was like speeding in a safe way that i got shocked !! think during the highway the 3 of us couldnt sleep cause it was super fast . then it was home sweet home (:

nice meet up with my sec school friends even though there were slight problem as compared to the planning . been a while since we had such time together from sec sch and some thing about us just doesnt change . so HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS !!

[ i super like their expression wahaha ]

[ the gay of the night ]

[ man tou ]

[ the group of the night ]

[ with no Huiping ): ]

[ ZB & Chuan ]

[ ZB stun face ]

[ the twin and Tat ]

[ Ken ]

Last Day of 2010

2010-12-31T01:40:00.000-08:00

In 2010 ,

it wasnt a smooth journey for me . snowball after snowball and there was i dangling by the thread that could snap any time . thanks to the people who were there to push me and being there for me , you know who you are . in a way i learn how to be stronger and handle things in a less negative way . should i say that it wasnt easy to master this skills ?? sum up 2010 is never enough but i am glad 2011 is here . as for those setbacks , think about it ... perhaps it a lesson taught .

In 2011 ,

i hope that it be a much better year for me and that i still can be with my close and love one . nevertheless i pray that my family will be safe and happy . hopefully * with fingers crossed * that my results is able to brighten my future . well , i hope i can earn alot of money too . i really hope my health will stop going down but go up !! plus i need a few changes like

- my temper [ though it a slightly better ]
- more better clothes
- better future and a life
- a good health
- and and and a camera !!

that simple and i hope can be fulfiled (:

Merry Xmas

2010-12-28T01:34:00.000-08:00

Life has no definite solution nor an answer sheet for us to refer, but we learn our mistake be it the right or wrong choice we made . Love is something that we cant control and like an investment . the choice we make can determine the period of hurt we will go through . but what do you do when you constantly get tortured at the thought of ending , to let go or not to ?

Merry Christmas Earthling though i am like 3 days late but chirstmas is like 12days so i not that late am i ??

anyway my mum got me an office job and i dont know if i should be happy or not . the thought of office wear and the office politic is enough to make me want to find another job . but well , stepping out of my comfort zone is a matter of time so right now i shall really enjoy my holidays . cant wait for the countdown because i getting a chance to meet up my fellow sec school friends , not to mention they are the fun bunch .

a new year means need new year resolution but is it really a need ?? right now i dont even know how to make this blog much more interesting . i think soon i will be posting more pictures about certain clothes that i will be selling . high chance that no one would buy either .

[ Coby chasing his tail ]

2010-12-22T06:58:00.000-08:00

i starting to like them already

Chapter 10

2010-12-16T06:14:00.000-08:00

Happy 10 months Honey Bun ,
I really love your surprise today ,
Even though it was a short meet up ,
I really enjoyed every moment together ,
Actions have tell you all .

2010-12-14T22:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the heart leads you to a place where you wouldnt know and you have to fight it out using rational thoughts . deep down the hurt and fears will cause you to be wary and protective so when it happens once more , naturally you know you would let go so you wouldnt get hurt once again .

Hey Earthlings !!

havent been updating this space of mine because i have been a " zhai nu " for quite some time so there isnt much to blog about . but recently i have been meeting up with a couple of friends but didnt mention to take any picture with them .

anyway lately been going out with my cute grandfather and aunt . just last Saturday we went to Marina Bay Sand to walk around and ate their buffet . Saw a couple of stuff that caught my eye but i telling you that the prices too caught my eyes .

the buffet was awesome with the variety of food that was able to fill my cravings and for the first time i got chocolate stains on my two sides of shirt thanks to my bro and partly my carelessness . what make it worst was I WAS WEARING WHITE which make it pretty obvious too . but nevertheless we had like 3 hours of dinner before heading home .

[ my mum , 2nd jie and Nessa ]

[ my bro and Nessa ]

[ Ye Ye and Nessa ]

[ 4 SIN siblings ]

results of waiting too long :

[ 2nd jie , Nessa and Bro ]

[ mum joined in the fun ]

[ my mum and I ]

2010-11-27T06:46:00.000-08:00

lately i have been able to catch up on my drama craziness again . not forgetting to continue looking up for Kim Hyun Joong and i found a new cute girl name Jun Soo Min who started acting not long . i just watch finish " Playful Kiss " , which i find it super cute .

[ he so cute when he did that ]

[ NG from Playful Kiss ]

[ he singing Because I'm Stupid ]

till then , doodles (:

Sudden flashback

2010-11-22T08:15:00.000-08:00

suddenly i had these flashbacks that i couldnt help but to turn to my keyboard and just type it out even though i know they wont be able to see it . it been a year since the first day i know them , something i wont forget ever . the times we had and the fun we had , laughing our ass off at someone in the class or at something . sharing our problems and giving advices even though it didnt work out at times . the birthdays surprises and celebration in the class , how we spam going out to the Kbox or the street . the first and the last school trip , and the stupid nicknames we had for one another , oh oh oh and the chalet where some of you got wasted and had the embarrassing moment when you got wasted . the tears and joy we shared with one another , i wont forget even though now we are like scattered every parts of this island .

i always remember her as the crazy girl that has her own cuteness that would make everyone around her laugh . how she would sing and then blush after people asked if she was singing or make fun of her , she spending her rest time on her itouch to play game and scream whenever she lost . making people laugh and happy whenever she around . i am glad to have her as a friend !!

laybee and mel was more than a friend because they would do thing more than a friend would . remembering the times they were there for me in my ever roller coaster ride and without me asking for a lending hand .

how awkward we were when the first day we met and slowly became the crazy kind . spamming my phone together with the rest and doing all sort of funny faces to the camera . the exam period that we will laugh and say you be the top student even though you didnt had the confidence .

the study session and stuff , telling us to concentrate and focus . being that positive and telling people that is alright . no far difference from Jia Rui and over time it seems the different cliques become one and teasing one another . always helping people by putting good words .

and always a guy friend that was like a sister to me because he knows more things than i am as a girl and yes that embarrassing but nevertheless he was the one that somehow became my best friend too . annoying from the first i know him and yet so sarcastic , yet we can be good friends .

really glad that i got to know you guys even though some of us has lost contact or never get to see this post that was for you guys . although we know one another only for a year , during that period you guys taught me alot and helped me way too much that i myself couldnt have imagine . thank you guys for these memories !! i sound like as though they have already left kind of shit . alot of words that cant be type out because it really way beyond description and it some thing that certain people wont understand . well , enough of this chessy stuff and i am signing off . i hope you guys are good (:

Expressing Was Never Easy

2010-11-19T22:15:00.000-08:00

it going to be a random thought post as to update . suddenly my blog seems to have lesser pictures to elaborate about my happenings and words seems to take over the interesting way to blog it out . well i doubt anyone will be reading also so here i go ranting like no body business .

we always say that our family are the closest to us and yet we cant express it out to them in words nor actions as pride stands into our way . thinking that it rather embarrassing or corny , we think to ourselves that they will know that we do care about them or when something happens only then we would tell them the things kept deep down in our heart . till then , regrets is all that we are left and wishing for another chance to turn things back and express our love to them .

many times in a day or our life , we complain about how naggy parents can be , pin point about the bad point about our family members that we overlook the little actions showed to us that tell us they love us . as we grow up , dining table seems to lose it purpose as a meal for family to sit down and eat together . as the busy city life takes over , talking to one another or sitting down for a meal seems hard . well , i am glad mine is still that close and noisy .

sometimes when we could feel the pain our parents are going through and when you want to say something encouraging or do something to make their day better , it seems hard to utter or do as we dont know how to express out our love towards our family . how many more years will we continue to be this close and noisy as a family ?? bickering and playing games together or having fun and laughter together ?? so in the end , " I LOVE YOU " was never that easy to the ones you truly care and call family .

Positivity

2010-11-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

Pain makes you stronger and the tears make you braver . Life has no manual and we just have to find a strategy to find the colours to colour our life . take me away to a place where i can start anew .

weather these few days aint good but it cooling , thus obstructing my plans and my boyfriend had to postpone his plans for today due to the rain T_T but nevertheless , i still manage to pass him the gift that i made him only to know that it was falling to pieces due to the stupid superglue .

well , after meeting him , dad needed help in the download of game so he had to come over . he even took the chance to smear me in front of my dad , super idiotic right ?? yes i know , well for now i shall blog till here because currently my whole mind is to find a job but no one wants to hire me T_T

9th Chapter

2010-11-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

Happy 9th month Bee ,
We been through the tough period ,
And we know we are more bonded ,
Actions speak a thousand words ,
I know you can feel it ,
Soon we will write the 10th chapter (:
I cant wait for all the surprises you planned

2 more to go

2010-11-08T00:53:00.000-08:00

Searching for that answer i looking for , lying ahead of me for me to slowly unveil the answer deep down that statisfy my questions .

well , i took off my tagboard and left my formspring there in the hope of people to talk to me more on formspring . but currently i think no one is viewing my blog ( not to be too sure of that )

anyway i soon left with 2 papers which need not need me really to study and i just realise i like the thrill in last minute revision . oh well , surprised that today paper was not that tough though i still forever losing marks . i just really pray hard for the bestest ever results to secure my future .

now i am job hunting and i telling you it is damn hard . i want outdoor kind of job but it seems that bank admin is all that i got , roar !! i still have a week more to search though i having second thoughts to join the working society .

2 more weeks

2010-11-01T04:33:00.001-07:00

it NOVEMBER , which means that i am left with 12 days to go . each paper that i sit for , all i get is being more demoralise and it more saddening that any other thing when i am so determine to clear this with this particular reason .

right now these stupid thoughts are torturing me slowly even though i am trying to put it aside . why is everyone telling me not to put a strong front and just to vent it out ?> isnt it why we put a strong front to protect that vulnerable side of us ?? argh , not thinking about it still . i am strong and i can clear this !!

one day i will sit by the beach and enjoy the breeze , spending a day just like this keeping calm !! yes , i am going to do it alone because that where i pour my thoughts out to .

2010-10-27T04:15:00.000-07:00

just alittle update since i wont be having any papers tommorow . this year pass super duper fast even before i realise that i am half way through my exams .

seriously i hate my stupid hair and my mum keep telling me it looks like the end of the broom =.=" i am so going to reborn my hair but i cant cause i am short of cash . each time i look into the mirror , i also hate my stupid hair .

on the other hand , Baby bought me 2 jars of sticky candy as a boost for me because he said that the only thing he could do . total sweetness minus the fact my bro always sneak attack on my sticky that i decided to give him a jar of it BUT still leaving the best flavour for myself :P

alittle bit of photos :

ISNT COBY SOO CUTE THAT YOU WANT TO DOTE HIM ??

LACK OF SLEEP

2010-10-25T05:00:00.000-07:00

sorry Earthling !!

havent been updating this space for quite some time . in about 2 weeks or so , i be able to update more frequently . yes , for the first time of my life , i actually studying this hard in the hope that i can pass this damn shit .

my boyfriend was saying that i look rather haggard and dark rings are coming out . i have been not meeting boyfriend for quite some time too ): hopefully things will turn out fine for us too . been really rocky for the both of us ):

1 paper down 4 more to go , NESSA CAN DO IT !! after my exams , i going to do all it takes to get rid of my dark rings and burn out the excessive fats i accumlated . i hope i am not suffering from isomnina because i seriously lack of sleep . waking up in the middle of the night and yet cant fall back asleep . any idea to get rid of dark rings ??

2010-10-06T23:22:00.000-07:00

OMG , exams is like a week away . i feel so screwed !!
burn the tons of midnight oil in hope i can pull through .
wish everyone and me all the best .
* FIGHTING *

probably why it gives me more reasons,
why i shouldnt open up,
people always look at your mistakes,
and overlooking your credits ,
seriously damn fed up ,
probably why i should continue be strong and independent .

Changed My View

2010-10-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

i've got the ticket to ' Voyage de la Vie ' , if you dont know what is that , it the circus show that now advertising on television . yup that right , as i was saying , it my first time watching an art show live what more a circus show .

anyway had to go for my extra lesson still but today it was pretty slack . after lesson headed to Vivo to meet my parents and uncle who treated us for dinner . to enter resort world , have to pay 2 dollar as entrance fee . what logic man !! actually it was nothing much beside the design that look awesome .

i bought my Hershey chocolate in medium size that cause me 6 bucks . soon the show started and i realise how bad singaporean aunties can be . this is what happens , the guy was walking around to have contact with the audience and then he would spray on those in his path . happen that he sprayed on an auntie and the auntie stared at him with the angry face and wanted to scold him but he walked out . then the auntie still grumbled for spraying at her when she was sitted . so stupid seriously !! but anyway the show was seriously awesome and the boy is way flexible !!

the stunts were seriously dangerous though some of the cast overshot while flipping . totally enjoyed it with some part that can leave you worrying for the cast . well , did alittle research about the boy and he only 16 this year . good gracious me !! but well , for once i do enjoyed a circus show . fyi , one of the cast was Johnathan Leong , the singapore idol fellow . some photos to be shared to you !!

[ got to do something about my hair ]

[ candid shot ]

[ yet another one ]

[ alittle of Alexey - the flexible guy ]

i wish for an itouch in replace of my ipod please . unnecessary thoughts , please go away !! haix ... never been this state before ):

True Story

2010-09-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

let me share story that hasn't got an ending yet .

there was a girl name N and a boy name C . they started off as friends that wasn't close at all and never did they expect that the opposite party would be a part of their life . they started off pretty much like a bullet train in a way where no one would ever thought of .

C knew from the start that N was alittle more problematic than any other girls due to the fact of her health and her past but he still chose to be with her . C would deliberately rush down to check on N because she was facing some health problem . during her long recovery period , he couldnt help feeling worried for her constantly as he couldnt help much as he see her suffer , but still he chose to be with her .

miracle just happened overnight and this couple manage to pull through together for 7 months , yes 7 months . it may not be a smooth journey with the little obstacles they met but they manage to clear it . C gave in to N alot and was pretty understanding toward N , despite her tantrum and argue but N tried hard to be a better girlfriend . C could tell that she was making an effort , both of them would constantly tell one another how they missed one another and stuff .

but relationship was not like a bed of roses . recently , they have been arguing over small issue . C was being harsh and hard on N for her to buck up in her studies . perhaps because of the constant argues and cold war , both of them felt that the relationship is starting to show signs . despite having that fear , both of them told one another how they didnt want this relationship to end . this relationship became something that they didnt want to lose , perhaps it was because they had this strong feeling that they had . however , despite telling how they really felt , the fear was still strong . they knew somehow they had to go through another obstacle again together , but faith was leaving them slowly .

are they up for this challenge ?? will they able to survive this obstacles ?? are they able to carry on their chapter ?? how do you think the ending will be ?? well , i believe they are able to overcome this obstacle together like before . do you ?? well , i dont know . ending will come in due to come , stay tune till then (:

Coby is the cutest thing ever

2010-09-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

I JUST LOVE MY DOG COBY ,

yes, those who know how i treat my dog you will go ' he so pampered and fat ' BUT he just so amazing and my happy apple . just loce the way everytime i come home , he will welcome me with that enthusiastic wag of his tail .

well , i hope and pray that i can earn enough to get Coby a partner to breed and have miniature puppies . okies-dookies , i am crazy enough but i am determined to do it . here are pictures of my darling !!

My MONKEY DAY

2010-09-02T08:32:00.000-07:00

today i wasnt actually in the mood to do anything because i got disappointed calls after calls , only to say that plans have to be cancelled due to some hicups what more Honey Bun had to work . so went for lab lesson and Iqmal was there after not seeing him for a few weeks .

after lab lesson , Honey Bun message me saying he could meet me for a movie (: couldnt help smiling so i went straight to North Point to meet him before heading to J8 . Honey Bun was rushing that by the time he met me , he was perspiring and hungry ( can tell ) . went to watch " Vampire Sucks " and the guy beside me was laughing damn ass loud that everyone turn around to stare at him .

but i love the show cause it super funny , twlight plotline in twisted facts . i would want to watch it again . damn it , while i had to mug for the upcoming exams and there cinemas are tempting me . now i am trying hard to mug and abstain from computer and boyfriend , though i still not hardworking enough .

[ no idea what we were doing ]

2010-08-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

stumbled onto this so called article which i find it true , wahaha . nothing much to update lately . i cant believe i am actually mugging so much for the first time even to the extent of not meeting Honey Bun ):

enjoy reading !! doodles !!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A female telephone operator received a phone call one day. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

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NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

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RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

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BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Serious mugging

2010-08-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

i have nothing else to blog currently . my life is so mundane which almost seems so grey . things hasnt been really smooth these days though i brushing it off with a smile and stuff . but then comes the good side of life when certain people pops out at the right time to boost your day , not saying boyfriend alone .

you know , it is so saddening that my friends push me away when i want to talk to them . halfway the conversation bound to link to my boyfriend as if i have him revolving round my world only . i'm so hurt * sob sob * !! anyway my face condition is getting better right now and yes , me is a happiee girl !! fret not because i have a cream to improve my condition .

after sorting out certain things these days , i came to realise many things . oh well , part and parcel of life i guess . blink of the eye , left with 61 days and yet i half way prepared . to excel in studies , i am going to forbid myself to meet Honey Bun until i really miss him damn damn much ): i feel my life so grey suddenly , alittle of colours that seems so fady . positive , positive !! sometimes it hard . things on the surface seems so real when deep down there a storm arriving , haix ...

life seems unfair when ...

good things come in peanut size and

bad thing comes in watermelon size ...

positive ?? i'm trying

To stay happy always is hard

2010-08-17T03:45:00.000-07:00

havent been blogging because my life now is so standardises : eat , fb awhile and study . just a blink of an eye , i left with 67 days to fully prepare myself and i not half way there YET . this is so frustrating and nerve wrecking because i have to really plan out and study hard . never in my life i ever studied this hard and motivation level that low .

my voice just came back from a 2 days vacation but the flu is still with me . i get really touchy nowadays and my mum just scolded me for something i just did . sometimes i really cant help thinking that my parents are biased but just kept mum about it , there isnt a solution to this isnt it ?? today i realise something and i guess i stick to what i think is right . seriously hate explaining myself to others and yet being shoot back with questions or unhappiness !! shall give the whatever attitude from today onwards .

alot of things going up and to rant on but i guessing i be fine now . anywya uploading a way long ago pictures i think was like last week or something .

[ Coby on Sis leg ]

[ like a pampered dog ]

[ the glow in the dark on my ceiling that doesnt glow ]

[ emo ]

[ so cute right ?? ]

met up with ex classmates with a short period of fun like always :

till then , doodles ~~~~~

6th Chapter (:

2010-08-16T04:42:00.000-07:00

Happy 6th month Honey Bun ,
Times flies and we are together for half a year ,
♥♥ you trucks lots and you know it ♥♥ ,
Just love the way things are for us ,
cant wait to see you again .

Happy National Day

2010-08-09T06:14:00.000-07:00

today my first national day spend with boyfriend had actually happened , wahaha . anyway i met Honey Bun as we wanted to watch the firework . half the time we were deciding where to watch so he suggested my favourite place Suntec . my legs were damn sore and pain due to the new flats but didnt say much if not Honey Bun gets alttile anxious and try all ways to make me feel comfortable . so we went to had dinner at WARAKU after rounds of walking up and down , from Suntec to Marina . there this part that was super funny which was the * chek * sound . because we need to U turn back to walk to the restuarant and i think we collide into this couple , the guy went to make this annoying sound at us and Honey Bun just have to react to it .

just nice we manage to watch the firework right after our dinner . this year firework is so nice espcially the shooting star effect . i think i made 2 wishes just for the fun of it , after watching the firework we hurried home to avoid human traffic . went back home alone because Honey Bun was tired too so didnt send me home .

i should seriously stop stressing up and study real real real hard for studies . time is ticking faster and yet i still not panicking at all . haix, when will i really wake up ?? ought to fail at the rate i putting my efforts !! " the doors we open and closes decides what lives we live " suddenly came into my mind . i think i have close many wrong doors and open the door too fast too . whatever ~~~ doodles people !!

[ pictures are not taken by me ]

The Crazy Time

2010-08-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

today BC was alittle weird because Matt let us watch a video which was funny and no one in the class laugh beside my da jie and i . pretty weird though because you cant really laugh out when no one is laughing , so i had to control my laughter . but i somehow interested in the old film Matt gave us to watch .

anyway in the night , brought my fat dog for his walk with 2nd jie and it was pretty fun to walk him down today . camwhore at the playground with 2nd jie , been awhile since i camwhore with her , wahaha .

now i dont have any mood to celebrate the nation birthday or even my own birthday . roar , stupid studies that is dampening my every mood to have a fun life though . shit hole , i just got like a couple of month before i get my fruitful holiday . i need my chocolate and ice cream man , then grow more fats !! doodles and finally i have alot of pictures to upload so i just combine them . it alittle unglam but i dont care wahaha .

i going crazy soon

2010-08-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW I MISS CALEB ZHOU DE BAO ,

been days since i last saw him ,

i hate mugging period cause it annoy me ,

get irritated damn easily ,

my cousin said that i should distress cause of the constant headache due to stress . even taught me to press one of my accupoint to ease the headache , soooo coool !!

i think i can be damn knowledgeable in terms of chinese and western , wahaha . i being retarded . now off to mug again , doodles !!

2010-08-03T03:51:00.000-07:00

today Honey Bun called me while i sleeping whether if he wants to meet for lunch as his lunch break was pretty long and of course i obliged to that offer right away . we had our lunch at the foodcourt when Honey Bun started the harmless fight with my 2nd Jie .

Honey Bun was so sweet to buy me a pair of nice flats because the other pair got stolen ): what more it was on discount !! but i still prefer the first pair and it is no where to be found anymore so we got that pair . i wish the first pair design was still available ): anyway AMK Hub had a mini fire that we had to evcuate the place .

i intro him KOI Cafe drink and damn, was it a long queue like always . one thing good about KOI is that you get to choose how much sugar you want in your drink . Honey Bun fell in love with the milk tea that we bought and i like both the small pearl and the milk tea .

damn , i feel so attached and it so not me . right now i going to go all out to get my studies fixed , wahaha . doodles if there is any viewer on my blog (:

Words that cant be expressed out

2010-08-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

yesterday i spent my day with Bee as he had off day once again . let's say tht it was a pretty awesome day despite that few short hours , productive and a good motivation for me . guess yesterday was a nerve recking moment for me as each step closer was closer !! but fortunately i had Bee by my side and it wasnt that bad after all , hehe . i think this day was one of the best time together after how many days not having a proper time to spent with each party .

now i left with 83 days to doomdays and i not yet prepared . i should be panicking and yes i am right now but i seriously blaming majority to myself for not working hard enough . hopefully within 83 days , every single got damn shit is inside my head and stays there till my papers are over !! omg , pray pray pray !! * finger cross *

This feeling was something i never thought i could feel and only dare to dream about it . Yet i finally got to experience that feeling , so that was how i suppose to feel . was it because it a different person or was it because it was geninue between the both of us ?? i guess the both of us knew the answer deep down . that feeling was so sweet that i starting to ask for more , human nature i suppose ?? guess that how fate really works on this r/s !! there are many things that cant be put into words , but i guess you are able to feel them all without me speaking any word and that what i like best !!

The increasing volume

2010-07-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

yesterday Bee came up my house for man made pizza after knocking off . it was unexpected thing to come up my house but i wanted made him something cause he didnt eat anything from afternoon till night and now he addicted to my mum pizza, wahaha. he came rather late and made me packed my house for nothing cause he got caught up and came ultra late . had a mini chat session and my parents plus him took turns to say about me can , ass !! after awhile he had to leave to catch the last bus , but i love it (:

today went for my review with the thought that i will be discharge of all medication . then all my hope got crushed when i still had to take medication for another 3 months on the basis of 1 , 3 , 5 days , damn sad !! the weird thing was the doctor realise my leg muscle wasnt balance , saying that if not balance before 60 years old , i will need go for knee replacement . so actually cant anyhow slim down on the leg area , that what i learnt . anyway went to lau pa sa to eat and and and i saw Jui Hsin !! i couldnt believe that i could actually bump into him there , wahaha . the whole bus journey home , my mum was being lame . speechless to say about my cute mum !!

NEED A REMEDY

2010-07-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

right now i feel rather crap , because my face condition is on the edge of turning horrendous and i need to do something about me . basically i need a major head to toe maintenance , though it takes me damn long to notice that coming . now i see my face condition , i feel like pouting and wish i had taken care better . the pictures below tells it all , super atrocious !!

took the photo cause my eldest sis think that she is better than me and that i am crap so to prove her wrong , i started taking pictures and she ended up shutting her mouth . like so owned ~~~~ !! roar , as the day goes by , i getting more worried . i only ready for Maths , and the rest i am screwed !! i need a remedy for my face and everything .... omg zong dong tong !!

[ DO NOT COMMENT ABOUT THE PIC BELOW cause i know it look like shit ]

[ GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS WILD HIAR OF MINE ]

[ and the spilts end ]

2010-07-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

guess today was rather alright minus the fact that i didnt study much again . i manage to statisfy my durian craving by buying durian dessert after Bee had his lunch . now i realise how much Bee detest durian , should have seen his face while walking with that tray . anyway we walked around before bringing Coby, the grumpy dog , for his walk . i think Coby is getting fatter and more lazy like one fat furball . after that slacked at the playground and somehow i revealed alittle stuff nonsense that wasnt meant to be told , roar !!

from tomorrow onwards , after 8pm i start to choing for my studies . i cant slack anymore because i am left with 90 days !! if time could stop just awhile then i could catch up with my studies . i like some fanatic freak , oh my gosh !! no life , no rest , no sleep , everything is like bullet train . whatever , that for today !! dooles people !! i love the pictures at the bottom , he such a cutie pie !!

V
V
V
V
V
V
V

Take everything away please

2010-07-23T04:20:00.000-07:00

seriously i am having a major attitude problem lately . i being damn cranky at nags or something that doesnt suits my ear , i feel so different as if my life is gone . what i meant of life is the life of hanging out and having my social life .

take me away to a world where i can care less . fairytales and perfect endings are different version of reality . take me to a place where i can be me once more and everything aint so plastic . take me away to anywhere with less expectation . take me away to a place where i can start all over again with more perfection instead of screwing things up . i hate the way i am growing up , hate myself even more for having such a life . FML for now !!

I want my chocolate and sweet .

I want my ice-cream right now .

I want this year to pass with a blink of an eye .

I wish to be there for just a few minute .

I wish ♥ is here right now this minute by my side .

♥ bring me close to you so i can have the nice feeling once more

I wish i have more time with a smarter brains .

OMG , zong !! staying in Singapore to get an education is tough , getting depression soon . screw this and that and almost everything . now is all about me , myself and I instead of others just for this very minute . take me away from here please !!

The Best and you know it

2010-07-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

today Bee had an off day and of course was spent with me to study . he suggested Suntec to study and accompany him to have his lunch which he didnt like , the look alone disgust me , wahaha .

after a while of studying , we went to YOP to walk . it best to go YOP at night cause the lighting is much better . Bee was damn funny when he keep waving at the passing boats , wahaha . what make it more epic is the people actually entertained him back !! wanted to go Marina Barrage but the road idiot me just had to walk the wrong side that we are north MB was south plus Bee was having blisters cause of his new shoe . basically pouting for awhile and Bee keep asking me to stop that , wahaha . after which headed back home cause i needed to be home early ):

i feel i have no social life . suddenly schoolwork and exams is been caught up , had to sqeeze time just for a short meeting with Bee . i otherwise known as flying people aeroplane but i really didnt mean it . i think my bf look more like a gangster now , wahaha . look at all his pic (kidding) , though the pictures aint that nice i just loading it just to make it less boring .

P.S I DONT ONLY REVOLVE ROUND MY BF . is because the usuals are busy preparing the same shit as i am . after 93 days , i going to get back my social life instead of being a bookworm .

[ no idea what he is doing ]

OVERDUE pic :

5th Chapter

2010-07-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

Happy 5th month once more ,
Although it wasnt that good as other outing,
I did enjoy it nevertheless ,
But i wish that incident wont happen again,
Guilt attacks is still there ,
But i hope you will enjoy it too .

went to meet " Despicable Me " with Bee but before meeting him i had to wait for hours for him to knock off . i still manage to meet him for lunch though , at Mac . i almost got frustrated waiting alone and long for him but he kept apologising so i guess it was alright . the movie was awesome and i guess everyone went to catch it because of Agnes . omg , she so cute and funny !! i seriously love the movie

2010-07-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

today had another unexpected meeting with Bee since i didnt had any lesson . went to accompany Bee to his training centre for some shit that i forgotten and i waited for an hour outside standing while playing iphone , stupid mosquito bites and i was perspiring . by the time Bee was done , i got alittle frustrated because i felt sticky and the itch was really unbearable . Bee said that my kiddy side is relapse again , roar !!

but on the other hand , i had my prata craving statisfied (: we both were fighting to find the ' ah tat ' in the ice kachang and bee let me eat even though he wants it himself , so nice of him !! so once again i wasted a day supposely meant for studies . oh , oh , oh , there was this dog who suddenly act dead while having his walk , so damn cute the way the dog act dead . if only my dog could act dead !! well , short time spent with Bee but still enjoyed it .

i feel like i'm reaching my limit real soon but trying to stretch it further than i can . if there are 2 ways to live , which would you choose ?? 1) live as if nothing is miracle 2) live as if everything is a miracle . but then comes obstacles or certain blocks that hinder you from reaching the finishing line , how far can you really push to reach there ??

Time waits for no man ):

2010-07-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

well , lets say that today was a productive day minus alittle hiccups that happened . Met Jun Ming to study like every usual sundays , just that i interrupted his sleep today . got to say that i very prone to careless mistakes and i think i am like giving my marks away , but today people around me are all like mugging the same as me so at least i am not alone right ??

after study session , i was like completely drained off and felt damn lethargic that i literally close my eyes to walk . dangerous action though , but yeah it happens when i'm really tired . not to mention , i met a pickpocket who is an indian who wanted to steal and end up being caught by me . whole bloody journey i stared at him and he got off the bus ASAP , bloody hell !!

went to have an unexpected meeting with Bee since i ended my study session earlier than i thought and to make up for yesterday . Bee bought me 2 pen and statisfy one of my food craving ( like always ) before sending me home . gosh , walking Coby without leash is serious out of control cause he just run whenever he likes and i hate running after him . luckily today it was with 2nd jie and Bee (: i think i like it when he doesnt style his hair for some reasons , wahaha . wonder why .... hmmm ... but whatever !!

still thinking to myself that i wasted my day once again , damn it when i am not panicking when the dates are getting nearer . shitty ass !! been saying this ' i'm not prepared !! ' many times because i am really not

wahaha , i think many people thinks my family is very noisy but entertaining . i think i cant disagree to it because it the fact that my family is one of the kind !! today is a very good example and guess Bee + Kai knows it all . woah , seriously been awhile since i do a proper update .

till then ~~~
doodles (:

Wrong Choices

2010-07-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

You knew you meant alot to me as a bro ,
I know your concern but i wish you knew mine too ,
It is that simple .

If you only knew i dislike you using that tone on me ,
Cant we just talk normally instead of that tone ,
But i know your intention are ,
Your words left me there in a low spirit ,
Guess i need to reflect badly on myself after what you said

damn ... left with 106 days and i only touched Maths and alittle of Science ?

Stupid emotions are running wildly ,
I hate the way you guys talk to me whenever i try hard to speak up ,
You guys will never understand .

Screw this stress level that so high ,
I wish i had a heap of chocolate and tubs of ice creams in front of me ,
Stop telling me it all up to me and it's quite easy ,
Screw everything whenever it goes wrong .

but on the other hand , there are friends that always cheer me up with whatever they can . this the part that i will smile to myself like an idiot .

2010-07-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

today meet Bee at AMK Mrt before sending his problematic part of his computer which i forgot for repair . when we reached the place, i just realise that it was my cousin ex company (: just by repairing his part alone , we wasted my day for study and i fell asleep on the sofa over there .

Bee kept aplogising to me because wasted the day . i think my stomach rumbled in front of him and he was laughing can . so we had our dinner and i finally get to eat my kimchi , the only thing i would eat outside whenever with him with an addition of bubble tea .

fish nugget , time tick so fast and i left with 110 days . i so not prepared can , top of that my emotions are like so unstable wahaha because i am stressed up . BEE , i have updated already . slowly enjoy reading !!

i love spenting time with you,
never thought of going this far,
many people is jealous of you,
so be proud of that ,
i will be missing you here <3

2010-07-04T05:22:00.000-07:00

Does revenge always serve sweet ??
What purpose does it serve after revenge is done ??
I probably wont understand it anymore .

I'm trying real hard to study ,
I'm doing my ultimate best that i can ,
I'm struggling to aces it all .

One do has a limit to everything ,
But how long is my limit ??
Perhaps i am reaching mine soon ,
Just stretching it as far as i can ,
Guess a break is what i need .

SO RANDOM , whatever !!

A Date That Sweet

2010-07-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

teacher went for reservist hence an early dismissal from the usual fridays . so i went to meet Bee as planned but just that timing got earlier . i had to buy Bee herbal tea and wait for him to arrive . while waiting for him , there was this Australian who had high blood pressure fell down in front of me . gees , i got the shock out of my life when she fell without saying anything . but there was this uncle came and asked everything etc . after that headed to Suntec and Bee didnt allow me to eat anything spicy especially my kimchi . in the end he bought me this set bento which was not bad just that fried stuff kinds of make my stomach sick ): then we catch the movie " Twlight : Elipse " , and i swear Taylor is some hot guy !! Bee was dozing off at the first part of the movie and i was shivering cause of the air con . today Bee did half of his shopping and thanks to me he got this nice pair of shoes . i think i am damn fated to meet Bee's friend on the street , wahaha and i telling you no joke, he has lots of friends .

[ his smile make no difference , LOL ]

[ he hotter than the vampire ]

twlight is just so awesome and Taylor is just so hot . gosh , his body is like woah !! sweet nibble lits , damn !! i think in the movie , he so damn cool as a warewolf .

thanks Bee for spenting your day with me even though you were tired !! i know it so dont try to fake it with me (:

till then , doodles to you who reading my blog (:

The feeling is not right

2010-06-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

I officially hate to be a girl

Hate my problematic stomach that is making me have mood swings

I want to satisfy my food craving , BEE hurry bring me

I NEED to get my ass moving

Something is wrong with me , niconpoop !!

It be stronger than before

2010-06-26T05:34:00.000-07:00

i hate my weekends right now because on sundays i am having extra lesson given by my centre manager . i know i should be grateful but freaking hell does it has to be on sundays ?? argh , i am also having the slack mood when i should be panicking by now . fine , i know i have to keep to my promise of studying hard . now i looking forward for the day Bee is off , hopefully on thursday ):

now camera is available in 1.4 pix ?? am i slow or what ?? i been wanting a camera damn badly and now that is also available in 1.4 pix . problem is i cant afford it man and i seriously want this model man !! functions are pretty alright , but whatever !! this is the model i am talking about .

that about it for today (:

See what FATE did to us

2010-06-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

Bee went work not long only and now he's sick , more of heaty . perhaps it his first being in retail that why but most annoying thing he trying to act strong . doctor gave him 2 days MC but he chose to go work with the reason of not leaving a bad impression , plus he keep rejecting herbal tea offer which i about to force him * grins * one good thing is his collegue are nice and friendly that he is enjoying it .

anyway bio lab today was boring minus the fact that we were playing with popcorns and stuff . damn it man , i miss hell lots of lab lessons !! right now , i hesitating between whether to go to school or not to but i think i shall go to school . now hope SOMEONE will get well ASAP and get ample rest !!

SCREWED UP DAY

2010-06-21T05:51:00.000-07:00

i think if my results sucks , i got to blame fully . i just spent 3 days watching my hong kong drama instead of studying but as of today i did plan carefully to study . yst was rather screwed up day with a mini argument with Bee but in the end he was the one cheering me up again , wahaha .

think today i was super unlucky . first when i came home , parents was at home and stupid brother sleep like a pig so i had to so called loitoring outside my door . i was being entertained by my lovely dog , COBY . i squeeze him out of my gate and brought him out for a short while before my parents came home . second , thanks to someone in my house, the toilet floor was super slippery that i fell and my ankle is alittle swollen . after that i had this mini argument with Bee because of some issue . Kai was like telling me this and that all because of ' care ' this word . okies-dookies , i know i shouldnt be throwing tantrum but i did , wahaha .

tomorrow Bee is going to work and his workplace is like all the way to Jurong Point . on addition he knock off at 10pm so late , by the time he reached home will be ultra late !! that a review for today :D

4th Chapter

2010-06-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th month Bee ,
Time flies in a blink of an eye,
What i wanted to say ,
You already knew,
I'm waiting till you fold the hearts,
Already expressed how i feel

Brain Dead State

2010-06-14T05:03:00.000-07:00

for 3 months solid , i am mugging like crazy but i feel there is no improvement in my studies . maybe i am super slow learner and time is ticking away like no body business , leaving me to either die or survive . damn it , how i dread to drag myself to the study table and spent hours just to study when nothing goes in .

shit man , i should really get back my feel of blogging but there nothing much to blog about nowadays . i should keep whining about stuff that are happening recently , i just have to find another way to move on and lessen my burden. shit ass , i off to study once again

Flashback

2010-06-11T07:21:00.000-07:00

been on a ' mugging ' mode recently that i cant believe that i am working this hard for the toilet paper cert . gosh , now 4 months have passed which mean i have wasted 4 months away just by slacking . deserve the shitty results right ?? i know , i think i the worst student ever .

is it true that certain lessons need to be taught through the hard way ?? ever wish for a second chance to be given to you by the people you care most ? in life , err is like part of us but certain mistakes were made due to our stubbornness and as a result breaking some vulnerable called trust . but on the brighter side, people mature through mistakes and overtime .

this world seem to be so plastic because they are so fake . it made me ponder that reality is so much different than before , closest friend betrayal and friendship can be another vulnerable thing . there no such thing as close friend , best friend or true friends, maybe true friends are harder to find . what is this world coming to ?? that i no longer know .

words are limited , feelings are harder to express . i really miss that care-free life i used to had where things were less complicated and harsh. there was this saying " it is so simple to make things complicated but a real genius to make complicated things simple " i wish i could be a genius to make things simple ...

i'm so sorry really ,
i didnt mean things to happen like this,
my 5 years friend ,
dont so petty already ok ??

Short But Sweet

2010-06-07T20:30:00.000-07:00

today Bee wanted to bring me out to relax but i suggested to watch ' Furry Revengance ' at Vivo but all that changed when we reached there . by the time we reached there, the movie has started and the rest of the shows were rather late . whose fault was it ?? obviously his for taking so long to come :P

in the end i spent my money on sweets and bought my mum a bar of chocolate . think Bee and I are super lame , just to get that bloody old note !! wahaha , today was a pretty short day with Bee because i had school the very next day .

now my mum ate half of the chocolate bar within a hour i think , gosh !! i think give her one mountain of chocolate she also wont be contented , LOL !! but i think my mum lately is very cute for some reason .

Random Update

2010-06-05T23:41:00.000-07:00

this post is just about some gossips i happened to come across . first one is about Miley Cyrus , the wanna be of Lady Gaga . i saw her latest video and she cant made it for the bad girl look man !! total failure , think i not the only one who thinks that way . like whatever , moving on !!

i losing interested in blogging nowadays perhaps because recent events and studies is draining me up . shit man , tommorow is like back to school day and i hate school be it the people or environment . that is it for now , off to study once again !!

Praying that i am able to stay firm,
Holding on to my hope,
Dashing towards the finishing line,
With all that i have

a day spent with Bee

2010-06-02T00:11:00.000-07:00

today met Bee around 3 plus and head to suntec . Bee say he was surprised with my outfit that i wore , not say him only even i am so not used to that outfit . anyway we headed to Suntec and settled at the food court when i saw a ' she- man ' which was alittle turned off , no offense !! anyway we bought the movie ticket for " Prince of Persia " before heading to sit down while waiting for the movie to start . then again saw Bee friend while crossing the road and i turned around to tell Bee that the possiblity of bumping into his friends is higher than bumping into mine, wahaha .

i think the movie was nice even though it was a stupid plot story, because of a dagger that is able to go back into time . then Bee keep disturbing by whisperin some nonsense to me but it damn funny . after movie headed to chomp chomp to get my mum food order and Bee dinner was there . after that , Bee went to my doorstep to deliver the food and in the end he got invited in by my parents , wahaha. should have seen the expression on his face, couldnt help laughing . then he had a little chat with my parents before going home as it was late . think overall i did enjoyed myself after so long of not going out with him .

thanks Bee for today and everything (:

[ his favourite bird face ]

2010-06-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

after managing to clear MT paper , i feel much relieved and can focus more on the rest of my subjects especially science and maths . Jun Ming keep saying my maths is super cui and i'm trying hard to practise maths and science . manage to study alittle for today cause of some stupid headache i was having ( another excuse to not study )

tommorow Bee is bringing me out , yeappie !! been awhile since we last went out for one whole day affair . where will he bring me this time ? what are we going to do ? hmmm , i guess at the end of the day he will plurk saying it's a fruitful day with me *grins widely*

random photos:

[ BRO MOUTH SPOLIT THE PIC ]

[ look so cute right ?? ]

[ Bee thought he was hospitalize ]

JUST FOR YOU

2010-05-31T22:09:00.000-07:00

Thanks for being by my side even though i had many problems,
Thanks for everything you do just to make me the happiest girl,
Thanks for being my boyfriend, a caring one and my happy apple,
Many thanks that cant be expressed out just by words alone .

I dont have to prove to anyone or to the world that this relationship will last . it just between you and me !! it doesnt matter how many people point fingers at you saying that this is going to be another short relationship !! i can choose to ignore every single negative things so long as it not true because it their opinion !! i dont have to tell anyone how confident i am about this relationship , because it just the two of us . i'm grateful for those who wished us and netural to those who doesnt . it really doesnt matter how the world thinks and i hope " that people " know

either do i need to give a damn how others think about you, just so long as i know you aint what people think you are . you are different and so it shall be !! it just so dumb of me to get upset over the negative comments certain people had about you , i know as times goes we will prove everyone wrong (:

a random post just to call it an update :D

Time to BUCK UP

2010-05-27T00:16:00.000-07:00

now i down with a sore throat and part of my voice is gone . i'm the man now, wahaha. nothing is going as smooth as i wanted it to be . anyway Baby suppose to take care of me but in the end never , saddening !! now that exams are over , it time to wake up man !! time is ticking away as i am slacking

i should seriously slap myself for not studying hard enough and giving myself all sort of excuses just to convince myself that the very next day i can start . argh , now Baby is like nagging at me non-stop , worst than my mum . but then recalling how badly i did for mid year , i starting to study already as in REAL STUDY !! time is running out and i seriously have to buck up . my ego is not allowing me to be behind my siblings and pressurizing myself too !!

i missing someone now !! so much for the care, he curse me today ): what a boyfriend right ?? wahaha , but it was super funny the way we talk today . been quite sometimes from the last we met , so saddening ):

Green Eyes is out

2010-05-23T04:42:00.000-07:00

facebook really connects people together , wahaha . this afternoon i was chatting with my primary schoolmates and it was super funny cause of how we look and the memories . hopefully there will be a gathering some time somehow .

i eating vinegar cause of Cheryl , wahaha . she being an ass to tempt me with sushi or more like food and her 24/7 sweet bf . as a result, i here wishing for a surprise or a gift that i like too from my beloved Baby !! wahaha , this is crap cause he already sweet enough to me by learning hard to fold the heart . so much for the friendship CHERYL !!

there something damn wrong with me and yet i dont know what it is . shitty feeling that cant be describe or understood by anyone , giving more excuses to complain and rant . damn it , anyone want accompany me to the zoo or beach or wherever i want to go ?? i going crazy at the lightning speed rate i going .

I'm the same

2010-05-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

lately just no mood to do anything for some reason . it seems that i have lost my drive to do everything to the best thinking ... aiya but whatever !! will you people stop calling me because your need my help ?? fuck this seriously !!

somehow i dont feel that i have change at all !! super annoyed when someone say ' you hve change because you have a bf ' my reaction to you is f*ck off because i still the same . i didnt ditched any one just for my boyfriend alright ?? if anyone say that one more time, i swear i say that right in your face . i'm sorry if i offend anyone but i seriously hate it when someone just come up right to me to say that .

exams are about to be over and soon will be prelims . think eating ice cream FTW man !! did i tell you Coby lately like to dream with those sound that is so cute ?? oh well he just did it again today !! wahaha

Bro held him captive :

The Moments We Share

2010-05-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

exam week is almost over . i got to say the exams scenario doesnt seems to be an exams . imagine you are sitting for exams and the candidates are talking or discussing answer !! English and MT wasnt a problem but what i super upset was my yst performances !! haix , total flop and i cant believe how badly i done for the paper . shit me , but MCQ is dumb . there this question

" what is your nose hair for ?? "
a) they serve no purpose
b) help to keep away from dust
c) help to tickle and make you sneeze

so dumb right ?? today Math is can pass if the marker is lenient if not GG to me !! once again Ms Kitty was annoying us that we had to ask her to shut up . she seriously damn annoying when we doing papers she keep talking and asking us stuff . Nic left without doing paper 2 , that the best man !! Issac and Baz was having paper ball fight , so wasnt like an exam can !!

today Baby came all the way to find me , so nice of him !! then he got so hot tempered when i was joking that i wanted to sleep while he waiting for me, so fierce like always. but enjoyed the short time with him (: